Seriously .. today's my greatest downfall of my whole life .. i'm screwed .. dun ask me why .. juz felt that .. the time has come and my lifes going downslope .. since the start of last month .. i dunno why .. is it my retribution of my past sins ? i do not know .. i dun even wanna know the truth .. juz that it suxs .. dam bad timing .. simply suxs ..

10.10.2006 Tuesday ..
After exams .. after all the cheerings and stuffs .. i still felt the stress on me .. simply because of the results i'll get .. and i'm juz faking that i'm free and i'm bound to relax after exams .. but .. i'm still as tense as during exams period .. so after exams .. went to slack .. went out wanting to go home .. but that morning .. i was late .. and saw shijie and zhanjie came on bike to skool .. they were late too .. then after skool .. zhanjie was asking help from me .. to get his bikes to candy's void deck .. so yea .. helped out alittle ..

Rode there wif zhanjie and shijie .. shijie got his own bike .. the one i'm riding is for candy's .. then slacked at void deck very long before she came .. then i was like dunno wanna go not .. in the end went wif them .. then loan bike from jianwei .. after getting bike from jianwei .. chiong home .. showered then changed .. rode all the way to find them .. after that .. wanting to go east coast .. but due to the management of time .. theres not enough time .. so yea .. went to pasir ris park .. went there through the connectors ..

The ride was a relax one .. how i wish .. lifes like that .. anyway .. zhanjie was entertaining us on the way there .. the following people who went .. me , zhanjie , shijie , candy , guoharn .. zhanjie was like .. o this is the historical place in wadever year .. then keep stopping and explaining .. was kinda entertained by his amazing speeches .. on the way there .. kept stopping for dunno wad reasons .. i simply wanna be the back of the ppl .. but they stop also .. so making me taking the lead .. so yea .. rode there after some time ..

I forgot where the place is .. but we rested for awhile .. because simply , there are injuries .. went to rest soon .. then wanting to grab our lunch .. searched around .. but in the end , ended at downtown and had burger king .. didnt ate there for sometime .. so yea .. at first wanting to had lunch at food court .. then mac .. then in the end bk .. cause bk was like .. no ppl ? after eating .. went to slack at the beach .. zhanjie became very silent on the way there .. so juz follow suit .. kept asking him why ..

Reached the spot where he wanna swim in the sea .. but really swim .. juz soaking in the sea .. he was playing in the sea .. then candy , shijie , guoharn went to the beach there to play .. while i stayed up there .. beach .. one of the most memorable place in my life .. shall not elaborate it here .. dun wanna let ppl know wad happened there also .. but its one of the major breakdown that occurred to me there .. at the beach .. so , when i'm near the beach .. i'm juz freaking anti social .. wants to be alone .. thats all ..

Zhanjie was moody too .. i guess i'm affected by him alittle .. which adds on to my moodyness .. making me the most sad person there .. i guess that might be the answers to those , who asked me why i'm seems so lonely at the beach .. after that .. went to get a drink .. after that .. went to bedok .. zhanjie wanna return bikes .. then on the way there .. was still quite moody .. so in the end .. i rode wif zhanjie , leaving them behind .. sorry for doing that .. i'm juz seriously needs to be alone ..

Reached bedok town park .. i think .. then rested wif zhanjie .. as we were way ahead of them .. then slacked awhile .. then continue riding after they arrived .. the nights dark .. reached a void deck near zhanjie house .. then zhanjie and guoharn went off .. leaving candy , shijie and me at the void deck to wait for them .. was crapping wif them .. dun wanna let them know that i'm still down .. so yea .. after around half an hour .. they came back .. zhanjie went off by himself .. guoharn longbang candy .. then shijie and i rode on individual bikes ..

Gonna return bike to jianwei .. so chiong back to tampines .. reached a junction .. guoharn went off .. shijie longbang me .. then candy rode his bike .. headed off to tampines .. returned bike to jianwei .. then candy , shijie and me went to eat at food palace .. after candy went home .. i took bus 293 home .. shijie went to find jianwei they all .. candy's got a cut on her leg when guoharn was longbanging her .. i got 5 cuts .. jianwei longbang me for fun around the central park's one of the void deck .. then almost buang .. then jumped off .. the back tyre cutted both my legs .. not deeply cutted .. but the cut's long .. went home , slacked , slept ..

13.10.2006 Friday ..
Black friday .. bad luck juz came one after another .. simply suxs .. one of my worst day in my life .. shall not say anything about today .. juz that , ppl left skool at 10:15am .. i left at 1pm .. went home .. was down to my lowest point of my temper .. might AP anytime .. but .. as time passes .. seems to recover bit by bit .. although i seems to have changed .. the devil in me is still there .. its juz sealed thats all ..

Night time .. received a call from my father's side members .. was dam dulan on how he speaks and his attitude .. shall not blog it down here .. its too personal .. but its juz that .. today , somehow , it suxs .. i wonder .. is god reliable ? will praying helps in the work u're doing , do god even exist .. or its juz smth to boost your confidenence and u'll work more harder for it .. wad a sad day for me today .. signing off ~ 9:03pm ..