I wanna say that .. i might be breaking down soon .. i had been thinking the same old fcuking question every day every night every meals and even before sleeping .. this is stressful enough for me .. but i cant avoid it in skool , so it adds on to my stress again .. frens saying they might retain and stuffs .. even i cant avoid it .. thinking that i can avoid those when i'm at home .. but i'm wrong again .. reached home and sis asking me about it .. god dam it .. can u guys give me a break ? i had been suffering from all this and u're asking me about it and saying that i'm giving u a dam fcuking attitude when u're provoking me in bad mood ..

I seriously thinks that no one understands me .. not even my parents .. not a fren or even my sis .. me is me , i dun need anyone to understand me .. and dam , i cant cope wif the skool work because i'm not up to standard and might be retained .. and cant u all face the reality that i'm not as smart as u all think and i'm juz a normal person which is not as smart as other people .. i need more time to get pass it .. i dun wanna flung my o lvl thats why i wanna get my basics better which if i retain , might be a good thing for me .. i cant cope wif so many dam subs and which chers dun come to skool to teach us when its dam near EOY ..

Bio cher , 2 weeks before EOY , went to broke her dam fcuking legs and didnt came to skool for the dam 2 weeks and i gonna study on my own without any help ? english , last day before EOY .. cher didnt come for skool .. cool huh ? and gave us a stupid new report writing which we didnt do before in our whole fcuking life and its a PE cher marked our paper .. very cool .. dunno is he anyhow mark or wad .. ss , more cool .. days before EOY didnt come at all .. maybe few days ? thats cool man .. and expecting us to pass wif flying colours .. they are letting us enjoy life even before EOY .. cool ..

Maybe i'm juz complaining too much and didnt expect anything from myself .. yea i admit that i'm fcuking stupid and cant even pass anything in my life .. i didnt denied that .. no one cares for me in my family .. i dun care too .. juz dun fcuking disturb me since u wont care for me .. onli know how to complain about my results and dunno wad i had done in skool and stuffs and complaining to other ppl in the family , trying to make life difficult for me .. but hey , do u know that i have legs and i can run away from home ? its juz that i didnt fcuking do that and i dun wanna hurt anyone in my family

But letting them getting the advantage and now i'm the one getting hurt more wif the scoldings daily and stuffs .. they should be glad that i didnt went outside and learn bad stuffs as last time i had but i broke away from them .. if they were know , i wanna see wad they gonna say .. they're expecting too much from me , i'm not a god nor a A1 student .. i know that my sis means me well .. but shes overdoing it .. no one has care for me eversince i entered secondary skool .. and i dun need any caring also .. but i'm already in a dam bad mood and u kept asking me about it .. i dun really know wad i can do ..

U said that , i'm saying that if i retain , i dun care about it .. if i dun care about it .. will i even be bothered to think every day and night ? do i always have to tell u all wad i'm thinking before u know wads my next step ? i'm like that .. accept it or not .. because i'm not the smart boy as u all think last time .. people changes .. there goes my brain too .. i understimated that i'm juz so fcuking smart and i can pass the exams easily can ? cant u juz let me enjoy the limited days before the taking of report book ? i dun really wanna hurt dad and mom .. so juz keep them in the dark .. until the day of taking report book ..

Even if they were to beat me infront of them , i dun fcuking care .. because i know that i let them down .. because simply i know that even if i were to promote .. i gonna flung my o lvls .. because my maths is fcuking lousy and my sci is fcuking weak .. and my english is fcuking unstable .. and for your info , core geog got more things to learn , i cant fcuking improve everything before next year may .. theres not enough time .. i wanna get As in my o lvl and not all Cs .. so wad if i were to stay back one year and letting ppl laugh at me ? i dun think this joke is laughable for one year ? juz managed for the most 2 weeks ..

I wanna get As for o lvl .. i dun wanna get those lousy passes .. and i can tell u .. i'm a guy that doesnt have hope .. my mid year is simply flunged .. even i pass my final year .. combined , i still fcuking fail .. so dun ask me anymore .. i'm so fcuking sick of it .. juz let me live for the limited days till the day of taking report book .. happily .. signing off ~ 4:58pm ..