I felt useless at times. But, I couldn't blame myself. I'm still young & learning & growing. But I really dread picking up phone calls at home. Because most of the time, it will be a bad news. I don't really wanna share with anyone. Simply because I think my emotions have got over me.

In a month & abit more days. I might be just famous. For reasons like, I almost killed him or I messed him up. Who knows. Hopefully this will be over soon. But I don't think so. I'll fucking kill that mother fucker if he were to speak ill of my family.

I don't know why. Time is running out. I have to make a choice soon. I'm already so stressed out & a call just added on to my burden. I couldn't concentrate in class as much as last time. I'm sleeping, slacking. Because i'm waiting for that particular day. He thinks that we kids don't know what they did. They're wrong.

All this things. Only a friend of mine knows it.

& You know what's the most terrible thing you can find in a guy ? It's a guy who lost his self-controls. Yes, I couldn't find it back still.

I really need someone to hold me in anytime.