My LifeStory ..

25 miles up the sky.

2009-10-08T20:25:00.000-07:00

It's been really really longgggggg time ever since I blogged. I've been really really busy so yeah. Okay, I lied, I was just plain lazy haha. :(

Anyway, exams are over but i've nothing to do now. So damn annoying. But so far, i've plans for weekends and tues. Gonna have competition in around 18 more hours! =/ Damn anxious can. Hope nothing goes wrong tomorrow, like capsize or something. I don't wanna get murdered(inside joke).

Anyway, this is something that I realised throughout my life.

When you're born, you know absolutely nothing.

When you're a toddler, you're starting to learn something new everyday.

When you're a child, you want everything.

When you're a teen, you want to be cool, rebel, you want an exciting relationship.

[If you're a guy, you wanna act all cool and stuffs, start to learn to drink and smoke and desire a hot and pretty gf]

[If you're a girl, you start to know the importance of image, looks, start to learn how to make up and fashion sense and wants a cool bf]

When you're 16, you want more freedom.

When you're approaching 18, all those things start to tone down. All your silly thoughts are put on hold.

I'm a guy, and i'm 18. And now, what's important in my heart, what I desire are simply what normal people wants.

Body and health conscious, satisfying relationship. Just your typical guy.

And I guess that's maturity for you.

But one damn silly thought that I can't put on hold even now, and I guess it's the instinct of every single guy.

I wanna protect and be there for my girl every now and then. :)

Well well, what to do? I'm still a normal guy with his needs afterall.

2009-09-01T02:02:00.000-07:00

I've found my reason to work hard for, you?

Ching ching!

2009-06-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

2 minutes of life worth wasting for!

You guys ought to see nigahiga's videos man, super hilarious! This always make me laugh. :D

I like the part, 'I LIED.' Damn coooooooooool.
& Sab, the video has got our handsign! ;) *handsign*

P/s: I'll update the photos soooooooon. :) Very, very, lazy haha!

16th June, 10.29 P.M.

Good play comes with blood.

2009-06-08T02:16:00.000-07:00

Mr. Andrew & my face like macham sama sama!

I'll update about the recent school events along with photos after I get ahold of our class outing photos! :)

Anyway, today basketball training was quite happening. It's quite awesome for me despite the injuries I had. This was the best performance I ever did since the start of the training! I've finally overcomed my performance anxiety bit by bit. Even though I still fear but i'm able to play more now haha! :P

In regards with injuries, I suffered quite a number of it. Bad choice to mark captain! What happens when a tall & well-built guy knocks over a short & average-built guy? The result was 7 injuries! It was because of a bad fall, bad way of falling. All of my left side had injuries.

1st: Toe nail.
2nd: Knee.
3rd: Hipbone(blue-black).
4th, 5th, 6th: Left hand & pinky!
7th: Right thumb.

The worst part was my side of left hand. The skin & flesh was gone, exposing the whitey bone & the wound bleed quite abit. What's interesting is that, the wound is in a HEART shape! :) How's that! I wonder how long i've to take this time to recover all my injuries again. =/ Damn.. But it's all right. At least after my fall, I did better than usual. :D

After training, went to SMU to study with Shawn & Rachel. Read on Econs, undercover economist. It's a very very interesting book I assure you. I only managed to read the first chapter of the book & some notes on MOB, legal structures. Spent the rest of the time disturbing, chatting & fooling around.

Had subway after study session. After that, accompanied Rachel to get her icecream then sent her to bus stop. Walked back & Shawn accompanied me to bus 65 bus stop as he was late for the study session! Even i'm injured, I still arrived there earlier than him! Wa laooo.. Baik aku la sia. :) Took bus 65 back home.

P/s: My Ah Fawn ah! Bon voyage & come back safely in one piece all right. I know it's a little late to blog this but at least I texted you before you left! :) Well, hope you have fun there even though I know you'll miss me alot. HAHA.

Aku's BFF, aku rindu kau macham 321564987489 times! Hee. :P

Lastly, I LOVE 09B6!

Ok. Time to plan second class outing.

9th June, 2:16AM.

Been away on the rooftop.

2009-06-05T01:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry for neglecting this blog for so long, internet was down so yeah. Been pretty busy or rather always busy. I'll update again when I received the class outing's photos. :P

Anyway, the MI opening, carnival, GP promos, SEL camp, class bonding activies, class outing was awesome! Can't wait for the next class outing, gonna plan sooooon. :)

P.S: Jed told me about the friendly match tomorrow, he said that we're gonna play tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous as i've performance anxiety. =/ People gave me luck so.. well, Cs, don't lose please.

6th June, 1.45AM.

Let's count from 3 2 1.

2009-05-04T20:36:00.000-07:00

Targets for Nafa Test:
2.4km - 11.40 & below.
Pull up - 5
Shutterrun - 9.2 & below.
Sit up - 50
Sit & reach - 50cm
Standing broad jump - 230cm

I hope I can achieve those. So far my first 2.4 trial i've obtained 12.29 but still, too slow. I need to be faster. Today, there's a improvement, i've achieved 12.07. I'm 22 seconds quicker despite the intense heat condition. I hope I can get a gold. Get a good headstart.

Today did our Gp presentation, I wasn't that nervous when compared to previous occassions. Looks like practice makes perfect. Hopefully our group will be able to get top 3. Haha! A girl in our group blushed as she was too nervous during the presentation, that made the whole class laugh because of her hilarious behaviours.

Hopefully basketball training will start soon after their A div, so that the pre-u 1s are able to join. At least i've a friend now who's interested in basketball as cca as well, if not i'll be alone. What's best? He's interested in dragonboat as well! So we'll be going for dragonboat this saturday. It will be during noon. :S Hope that I don't turn too tan haha.

Tomorrow will be a more relax day compared to today. Today's too hectic, seriously. Will be playing Shawn's guitar tomorrow during our 3 breaks. :) My another guitar teacher other than Sebas. Hmm, oh yes! Cynthia's helping me to buy beehoon for breakfast tomorrow! HAHA. I'm so sick of school's food.

P/s: Thanks girls for cheering for us during our 2.4km run. :) Really appreciated it as I didn't expected it. Haha, 09B6's cool! It's getting united day by day. Hope it stays this way. & lastly, thanks BFF for cheering too, I heard you. :)

5th May 2009, 8:35pm.

Alcoholic.

2009-04-17T04:41:00.000-07:00

April 18th

Currently, i'm at ivan's house. Was playing mahjong hours ago because I needed to have some life in my life haha. :O Then, was drinking. Now both of them are sleeping & i'm wide awake, because i'm afraid that I would end up overslept if I were to sleep now. I don't know what I can do now ! Leaving the house at 7am for school.

I brought all my stuffs over here already man. Things for showering, uniform, hairstyle material & stuffs. I'm afraid too, that I would sleep on the train/bus. Then the train goes, 'ding dong, Joo Koon.' Then jia lat already haha. Tomorrow school starts at 9am, then need to do my chinese project, then at night, going sebas house to sleepover, late night movies & drinking again. Oh my god. I don't know if I can keep up with it. :S

But I had fun today even though i'm lethargic. :D Played some hand games & kingclub. I learnt alot today from them ! Haha. Ivan keep trying to make me drunk sia, alamak. Everything & every small little things ask me drink. Jia lat sia... I hope i'll be able to pay attention in class tomorrow. :O Haha !

My stomach's having a roller coaster ride & burning inside. :S Confirm nice to sleep if I were to sleep now. OH mannn. :( OK, seems like i'm falling asleep too !! My vision moves alittle whenever I walk excessively. But i'm all right. :D

Time check : 4.42pm, 18th april 2009.

Nobody nobody but you.

2009-04-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

9.16 p.m, 15th April 2009.

Progress of school is increasing steadily. Alot of events coming in and i'll be looking forward to. There's school stuffs & outside school stuffs that i'd like to join in. Haha, been bonding pretty well with my classmates. Haven been talking with all of them yet but all of them are friendly so yeah. :)

Basketball have yet to start because of A div, so I think it will start during May or June ? Which is pretty long. I'm so going to improve my physical appearance, because of someone's comment. :O So, i'm going to start training now. But I still don't know how to increase my body mass even though I eat alot. This is so frustrating. :(

Our usual clique have decided to do a clique shirt & i'm so looking towards it. Probably it would be decided during mid may & done by start of june. I'm no.4 among the 7 people because I like the no.4. Hee. So, class shirt perhaps be decided after promos then we'll have 2 class shirts per year! :)

& Something stupid happened in class today. I was helping the chinese teacher to switch on the projector and I was standing on the chair to do so. So I placed my main weight on the edge of the chair so the chair became 2-legged. WHICH I DID NOT NOTICED THAT. :S

So yeah, it flipped 180 degrees and I knocked over my table and my table was pushed forward, turned 90 degrees. My pencil case, homework folder, watch, notes were all over the floor and my bag was under the chair. Can you imagine ?! What's worst, I landed on the floor hand first and became sitting position. Like cool only.

My first concern after the shock was, 'eh, my breakfast in my bag sia!' Then I hurried and got up, to check on my breakfast. :P Yeah, super silly. Luckily it was during chinese lesson, and not the normal lesson where the whole class is there.

And the moral of the story, I injured all of my left side but the worst was on my left hand. Hopefully it won't turn blue-black. :(

Sooooooo, I hope i'll still be able to do p.e tomorrow with injuries and the lack of time for muscle recovery. :S

& Lastly, anyone wanna buy dumbbell together or able to lend me ? :P

I can't give you anything but my love.

2009-03-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

Haven been updating alot as i've been very, very busy. Due to school stuffs & the preparations for the school, CCA & stuffs have been putting a toll on me. With additional, deprive of sleep is a concern as well. I've only an average of 4-6 hours of sleep during school days but more of weekends but i'll be using up my precious weekends for B.

School's pretty slack for now, but homeworks & common tests are coming in. Pre-nafa is coming too ! Jia lat, gonna start building up my stamina for 2.4 & training for pull-ups already. I don't wanna get silver. :( I wanna get gold.

Putting academic issues aside. Been out with B almost every weekend. Time is always insufficient when i'm with B. How I wish there's more than 24 hours a day so that I can have more sleep during weekdays & more time to spend on weekends with B. :O

08.03.09

Today, met B as it has been a week ever since I saw B. We can only meet once or twice per week due to school days. The max will be thrice, that will include friday night. :P Hee. So, we met up at 11 plus, then headed to Bugis to get B's cardigan. Alittle angry because B keep refusing to buy as B's shy, then ended up, i'm buying for B ! :/

After that, went to Rockery to get sour plum drink. Walked to City Hall for our sushi. Saw Aryani on the way there. So 'purple-ish'. Got our sushi & sat at the fountain there to eat. B finally got the kinder joy & obtained a toy-like soccer thingy. Like fun only. :)

B wanted to go plaza sing to get something & don't feel like taking train as 'someone' adult fare ma. :P So we figured out how to walk there. & I feel so proud of myself ! Because I led the way & really the right route. But B kept doubting me ! & So, B had to do me a favour regardless of anything. :D Hee.

Went to Mac to get a drink & went to the shop. There's a display that is 2 layers of door. B tried to push & B never used any strength and thought she could so easily push that layer of sliding door. But B found out that I was the one who helped her push, then she felt so sad like that. HAHA B ! Aww, B's so cute. Shopped & walked around.

B saw something that she liked & I teased her that i'll get it for her next time. So after walking around the shop, we went for the rest room, but I sneaked out when she went in. Went back to that shop & bought the 'thing' she like. Then went back in the toilet to take off the price tag & went out to find her. :D

Then at the bus stop, couldn't find bus 65 outside plaza sing. But I knew there was bus 65 at the stop before plaza sing. So I figured out again ! Damn, i'm smart & B's so blur. :P So, the favour she owe me was to close her eyes for 3 minutes & cannot peek. So I placed that 'thing' on her bag. Well, really hope you appreciate my efforts B. :D Sent B home after that. & Damn, I really love weekends. Because I get to spend it with B !

So overall, I Love B.

Demolition lovers.

2009-01-23T00:20:00.000-08:00

23th Jan.

Haven been doing anything useful nowadays except for working during my free time & reading up Twilight, catching up with friends & hanging out/mahjong. Work was kind of all right & kind of tiring too. But I think it's all right as long as I socialise with people. Met alot of adults at work & learnt alot. Really.

Serving customers was kind of all right, unless it's some unreasonable ones. But around half of them are very friendly so it's all right. I think I did chat with an ang mo customer who looked like Edward Cullen. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Bet you guys are jealous.

Results was not bad, just not bad for people but very very bad for myself. My own expectations. At least I passed maths after leaving like more than 40 marks blank. So it's kind of all right. Choices have been made & worst comes to worst, i'll be in MI. It's not that bad as I know some people there. Yes just some.

Went for today's Jyss New Year Concert. Met Natasha & went for the concert though it's kind of late. Concert wasn't so great but at least, meeting up with friends were fantastic. Texted Jianhong & Sebas for lunch after that.

Meal at kfc with Natasha, Steph, Sebas, Sabri, Jianhong. Steph & Sabri left after the meal and the rest of us stayed to chat & catch up. Soon, went to grab some bubbleteas & slack. Natasha went home and we stayed at somewhere nearby to catch up more. Chatted alot and dismissed at 5 plus.

There's no need for words, just go..
Promises isn't reliable anymore.
Thanks.

12.20am.

2009-01-03T00:10:00.000-08:00

Where's my supergirl ?

Last day of 2008.

2008-12-30T17:38:00.000-08:00

31th December 2008, last day of the year.

2009 is coming but I don't really wanna let go of 2008. Too much memories to handle but it's ok. What comes gonna come.

Anyway, this is gonna be a short post as i'm like freaking late. Hope Royston doesn't see this if not he gonna nag at me for being late.

Anyway, last day of 2008. I spent it wisely with my family & friends.
Just this morning, went to jogging with karan & he lent me the twilight book & the handgrip thingy. thanks karan. :)

Went home & changed, went to bugis to get clothes with my sis & bf. Bought clothes over $100+. Damn, gonna be broke. Went home again, & i'm here blogging.

Gonna leave house in like 5 minutes, to meet Royston to have dinner at the Japan restaurant I think, at the swimming complex there as he's craving for them. So yeah, thought we gonna eat Maggi mee for last day of 2008. Uber cool.

After the dinner, gonna meet nat to go to orchard to catch the lights. Gonna be awesome. Will upload the pictures if there's any. So yeah, not sure what time will be back, but hope everyone out there have a fun time tonight countdown-ing.

Ok, gonna go. Bye. Go countdown idiots !!!

5.38pm.

Adrenaline Rush.

2008-12-25T21:39:00.000-08:00

Secondary school life is a roller coaster ride of your life.

This year is so different from last year. But doesn't matter anymore.

Jogging tomorrow with car run, hope it won't rain again. It's gonna be a weekly thing.

Perplexed.

2008-12-05T06:05:00.000-08:00

Amrak.

Advanced 17th birthday celebration.

2008-09-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

I'M A HAPPY BOY. :)

Thanks, my girl. Really appreciated it !
Better not think too much. Just relax, & STRESS.

True or false ?

2008-08-29T02:44:00.000-07:00

1. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they will always think about the girl they truly care about.

2. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

3. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him

4. Guys hate it when you talk about your Ex-Boyfriend or Ex-Love interest.

5. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

6. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

7. Guys get jealous easily.

8. Guys are more emotional than they people thinks.

9. Giving a guy a hanging message like 'You know what? Uh, nevermind.' Would make them jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

10. A usual act that proves the guy likes you is when he teases you.

11. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in their relationships.

12. Guys think way too much. One small thing that a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

13. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

14. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

15. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

16. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

17. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

18. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

19. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

20. A guy has more problems than you see with your naked eyes.

21. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

22. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

23. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

24. If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.

25. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

26. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

I find it pretty true. Except for the flirt part. Maybe just for me.

Gonna turn in now. Studying with her tomorrow & i'm kinda looking forward. Let's hope that the horoscope thing really works.

Good night, problematic world.

Sleep, the only way to lose connections with reality.

Teacher's day.

2008-08-28T21:33:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder,
what's playing in their ears from their devices.

Happy teacher's day to all the teachers. Even those I know or I don't know. Oh well, the programme in school was kinda expected & dull.

Had the workout thing & it was totally boring. Big breakfast after that. Eat & eat & eat. And the spread that Steph help me make was like, super thick la. But it's nice, & very choke-y. Confirm, gurantee fat. & I said to her, 'No wonder you're so huge.' And she pointed me middle finger HAHA.

Engaged into the concert mode & it was all right I guessed. Just that it took almost 1 hour to settle everything down. Really jia lat. Inal's performance was great. People from my batch came back & catch up with them alittle after dismiss. Especially, Rongkui, Yongliang, Zhihui, Clemence, Eric, Eddy, Rita, Ym, Khaikit, Cy. Feels great.

Sent her back home after that. :) Went to find Boris they all & ended up going Sebas house because both of us are so free, with nothing to do & no one jio-ed us out. Bought Mac & went to his house. Eat & played guitar. I swear that electric guitar is so tempting ! Learnt abit of Warmness on the soul & a new simple song.

Watched Silent Hill after that. I think less than half the movie, both of us fallen asleep. Woke up at around 6pm plus & his mom came back. Finish watching the movie & we went out. After that, something malu happened la. Sebas ah Sebas, why everything we go out sure got thing happen one HAHA.

Something caused Sebas to go home & I went back tamp alone. Reached home at around 9pm. Guessed i'm rotting at home tomorrow due to the same reasons.

It's holiday already, but i'm still gloomy. WHY. Jia lat. & Something random, I think I really have short term memory !

'Someone,' please make me happy ! :(

3rd month.

2008-08-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

No words can describe the amount of love I have for you,
only actions might describe.

10.08.08
Yesterday was our third month anniversary. Met her at around 12pm & headed down to Vivo. Actually it was a surprise for her as I didn't tell her where we were going. But the phone call that previous night leaked out my plan. Oh wells. Train-ed down & walked around.

Went to Yoshinoya & had our lunch. After that went to PageOne & purchase her a book which was her 3rd month gift. Decided on a book because O'levels is around the corner & I bet a book will be the best gift. Gave her a week to finish reading. :)

Walked around & went to Ben & Jerry to have ice-cream. She amaze me. Ordered banana-split but she doesn't eat the banana ! So ended up, I have to eat them. It's all right though, sha de. Took some pictures & window shopping. Bus-ed back to tamp.

Met up with Boris later at night. Played basketball at the usual place. There's no freaking lights la. So, we actually played in the dark for around 2 plus 3 hours. Without water, that is. Non-stop as well. Freaking tired. Went to Esso & get some drinks. Slacked at the usual playground & went home around 10.40pm. Called her up. Had my dinner & slept late.

11.08.08
Woke up pretty late. Sorry Junior, for not accompany-ing you to jog at bedok reservoir, but you went to play basketball so yeah. Woke up around 10am plus & contact Sebas. Head down to my aunt's house for swimming. Waited for Sebas for 35 mins ! Alamak you. Reached there. Aunt handed me $20. Slack awhile & started swimming. We swam about 2 hours. Including chatting, slacking & stuffs.

Showered & stuffs. Took pictures. Will upload the pictures after I get them from Sebas. Bus-ed down to tamp inter & had our late lunch as we were feeling super hungry. Had Bk. For some reasons, after buying the meal, i've no appetite for burger. Didn't finish my dinner last night as well. Damn. Went off after Sebas met up with his girl.

~~Now my body aches like hell. No one cares anyway.~~

2(23) 2(4) 3(24) 3(8) 4(20),
3(8) 3(19) 2(23) 2(25) 2(7) 3(18) 3(4) 4(11) 3(24) 4(20),
4(25) 3(23) 2(14) 2(2) 3(26) 4(7) 3(24).

2(23) 4(25) 3(7) 3(23) 2(14) 3(11) 3(24) 2(13) ?
4(25) 3(23) 2(14) 2(2) 4(25) 3(26) 4(7) 2(23) 2(12).

3(8) 3(19) 4(25) 3(7) 3(23) 3(26) 2(26) 3(14) 3(7) ?
4(25) 3(23) 2(23) 5(10) 3(19) 2(17) 2(14).

2008-08-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

错误, it's how you interprete it. It can be a mild one or a major one, it's just how you see it. But the main concern is, how you resolve it. It does not just, by an individual. However, it should be solved between the giver & the receiver. When it's solved, the giver decides whether to continue or not. So why keep everything to yourself?

Why is the giver fretting over this matter when the receiver isn't complaining?

Person who ruin is a person who fail.

2008-08-03T22:46:00.000-07:00

Trust is essential in some issues, while,
doing something on purpose with a motive is redundant.

I'm currently, quite/very/seems to/feel like/wants to get interested with 籃球火. Even though it's just second episode this week. It really tempt me to play back sports. Kind of like slam dunk, but, I don't know. It's just cool.

Things doesn't seem to go my way. Mood are always fluctuating, every emotions are shown on my face & I can't avoid it. I'm not good in acting. I tried several ways to calm down but it doesn't seem to work in any way. Maybe, just a little. Perhaps, my hot-tempered days are back again. But who can stop me. Maybe, her.

I choose to be subdued sometimes, just to see who will be the one that gets it. Or i'm just too sick to get bothered. But it appeared that, my actions & expressions betrayed me time & time again. I need some control, seriously.

On a lighter note, 6 more days to 3rd. 76 more days to her birthday. 100 days to reach a certain issue. ily.

What I desired most, will be winning back what i've lost or fading without any reasons. To capture back the time or to move back in time.

Give me strength, will you?

2008-07-21T22:52:00.000-07:00

I need someone to talk to.
Now, who will listen to me?
Things hurts, when you know the ending.

In another life.

2008-07-20T17:21:00.000-07:00

I just can't stop smiling,
whenever you're in my sight.

Currently hooked up on The Veronicas' songs. Wasn't so interested few months back, but it got much more better, so yeah.

School's fine, alittle stressed out. The reason why ? O level & Prelims ! However, I think i'm quite all right for the prelims for now. Maybe the killer ones will be MATHS & PURE. So I need intense assistance from her. I can feel that the standard for maths prelim, will be super high. I just hope i'm able to get two digits ?

I'm just lacking of motivations for maths man. I'm just... can't help it. Strangle me, someone.

The recent days seems like winter. It just rain, rain & rain. Lucky I brought my jacket. It serve as a hiding tool as well. Simply because, i'm enjoying my music during lessons to prevent myself from sleeping due to the fantastic weather ? Ok, excuses.

Rugby was fun. Seriously, fun. I scored today ! I gained a score, I tore my shirt. My shirt tore during the struggling & fighting for the ball. Got a kick at my hip bone, scratches at my leg & arm & a flying choke slam from Karan. Literally couldn't breathe. But, it was fun.

Today's a pretty pleasant day. Please, stay that way.

如果没有你.

2008-07-11T03:03:00.000-07:00

How does one know if one loves someone,

I believe it would be how you feel for that particular person.

http://memyselfmine.blogspot.com/

This blog really depicts how someone lost someone so precious. I got kind of affected by the entries because it clearly shows that how heart-breaking was it for her to lose her loved one. This got me thinking, are lives really that fragile? Once broken, it's gone. It's simply.. too saddening.

I wonder how would everyone feel/react if I just leave, like this. Without any warning. I would rather know now, rather than leaving the world then I get to know how everyone felt.

2(9) 3(8) 4(2) 4(19) 1(1) 4(12) 4(20) 5(19) 1(9) 3(4) 4(20),

5(19) 3(17) 2(1) 2(4).

1(9) 7(2) 4(20) 4(14) 2(15) 2(21) 6(23) 4(20) 2(20) 6(8).

3(2) 2(9) 8(8).

1(9)'ve 7(1) 3(25), 2(9)'s 4(25) 4(20) 3(14).

3(4)'t 5(23), 2(23) 4(23) 4(16) 7(20).

3(2) 1(9) 4(10) 4(23) 2(20) 3(12) 3(25) 4(11),

1(9) 5(19) 4(12) 3(25) 2(1) 4(13), 2(15) 6(18) 4(13).

2(20) 4(12) 7(19), 3(25) 6(1) 3(8) 4(7) 6(16),

2(20) 4(12) 1(1) 12(18), 3(25) 6(1) 3(8) 3(2) 6(16).

1(9) 4(23) 7(18) 4(25) 8(4).

I feel pretty bad, seriously. =/

~~3(8) 4(9) 4(23) 2(9) 4(20) 3(6) 2(21) ,~~

3(6) 2(13) 2(20) 4(6) 4(25) 7(5),

4(25) 4(8),

4(25) 6(11),

4(25) 5(19) 3(23) 2(15) 8(20),

5(20) 2(15) 4(25) 4(12),
4(25) 5(19) 5(19) 3(1) 5(14)

~~& 4(25) 4(12).~~ =/

10thJuly2008.

2008-07-08T21:11:00.000-07:00

So hold me close and say three words,
like you used to do.

Today was one of my most terrible days? Had to be under the freaking rain for 25mins while waiting for cab to go to school. Was completely drenched man. Upper body was wet inside out, outside in. Super horrible feeling.

Had to survive school with that cacat uniform. Enduring cold all the way. So I wore that freaking uniform from early morning to evening. Hero! Of course, the moment I reached school, went to dry abit of my uniform & my hair. Look super awkward la!

During assembly, hair was caught by Jamie, along with Sebas. Another jialat event. Went to cut my hair after i'm done with the things I needed to do. Kind of short hair. But I guess it's all right, like that more man! Haha.

School's tomorrow with maths mock. Horrible. Homework incompleted, had to risk getting free haircut from generous jamie. Hope that even if I get caught, I would pass his terrible grading of hair length.

~~Seriously, I think i'm falling ill soon. Damn it bitch.~~

2nd month anniversary in 2 hours, 49 mins!

I'll be there for you, forever

2008-07-06T23:31:00.000-07:00

Hey girl, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine. :) I promise, all right. I'm glad that I made the right choice of asking you today. Afterall, I only love you, don't you know me ? Qad. :)

& Sorry for the pretty bad ending today. =/

10.05.08

2008-07-02T17:58:00.000-07:00

I ONLY LOVE PAMELA LEE ZHENG YEE.

Tell me what happened, girl.

Meaningful song ?

2008-06-22T00:09:00.000-07:00

Deep and Meaningless by Rooster

Song Lyrics:
I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the queston why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

Chorus:
If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

Chorus (Repeat)

This clearly shows, what i'm feeling tonight somehow. It's all right, I would get over it soon. Maybe it's really me, thinking too much. Just hope I can stop thinking for the worst.

Super late Japan trip entry.

2008-06-21T17:47:00.000-07:00

DAY 6

Attire: Black top, brown complicated shorts, black & white shoes.

Breakfast.

Flight back.

Family & friends.

& Of course, my qad. :)

EXTRAS

Super late Japan trip entry.

2008-06-21T17:33:00.000-07:00

DAY 5

Attire: Pink top, white skinny, black & white shoes.

Had exchange program with the japanese kids.

Did coastal features.

Bid farewell & had a 4 hour ride back to where we came from.

Did some shopping, WALKED back to hotel.

It was a great experience.

Super late Japan trip entry.

2008-06-21T17:06:00.000-07:00

DAY 4

Attire: Black & white stripe top, black skinny, brown shoes.

Did padi field lecture, then field work.

IT RAINED.

Had cold noodles for lunch, ate ice-cream.

Took a boat to another island, exhibition on dinosaurs fossils.

Did fossil digging.

Climbing 514 steps to reach the summit & see the Rias coastline.

Had Fine Dinner.

Super grand la.

Super late Japan trip entry.

2008-06-21T16:15:00.000-07:00

DAY 3

Attire: Black, white collar top, blue jeans, brown shoes.

Woke up early, went for breakfast.

Left for lecture on volcanoes, seawall. Did a ringing of a bell at the well known for mercury area.

Had lunch.

Went for the memorial site, climb down to the coast from the cliff to the bottom.

Did studies there. Climb back up again.

Head on to do river studies, climbing of the mountain to find the river's source of water.

Proceed to find waterfall. The one we went was the Zato falls.

Had dinner.

Hot spring, poker, slack, blast song, joke, sleep.

Super late Japan trip entry.

2008-06-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

DAY 2

Attire: Full uniform.

Woke up late, due to the fact that me & my roomie are heavy sleepers. Finally wake up after the continuous calls from other rooms, irritating knockings & bangings of our room door.

Went to water museum, did some activities there.

Next, we head on to the Ecopark. Studied about the 'Minamata disease & the dancing cat.'

Following next, the recycling plant. Shows the recycling process.

Programme next, at the Hotto house. Met the real people & had story teller who experieced the era of Minamata disease.

Had our dinner. Obanto.

Back to hotel. Had openspace hot spring.

Ended up in our room, played poker. Room-mates are, Ivan, Jiasen, Chengwei, Fadhly.

SLEEP.

Super late Japan trip entry.

2008-06-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

DAY 1

Attire: Half uniform.

Watched Step up 2 movie & Ah long during the plane ride. Touched down & stuffs. Met with the tour guide whose name is Paul. Transfered to somewhere to have our lunch. Everything's on the bus & someone lost her wallet. But later, discovered that it was with her I supposed ?

Reached the destination. Took pictures, after that, had our lunch.

Played Zhong Zi Mi Ma, using lemons & ice water. The punishment was getting worse each time.
Head off for the forest study lecture.

Next stop, the fieldwork forest study.

Following, convenient shop.

Final stop.

Hot spring, slack, play around, back to room & sleep.

A.

2008-06-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

Looking forward to this day. 10th June ! The actual first month anvi. Ok, i'm really beat. The actual time & date i'm doing this is 4th June, 3.28am. Ok, ignore me. :) Yes ah, can see & talk & sms & call & stuffs already ! Feels weird that my phone didn't rang for 6 days. FREAK.

L

2008-06-08T17:10:00.000-07:00

Lethargic ? Or used to it ? I don't know. All I know is that, i'm coming back home soon darling ! Oh well, that's all i'm aiming for.

E

2008-06-07T17:10:00.000-07:00

Warmness on the soul. Took my soul & left me nothing. :) Ok, i'm really bored.

M

2008-06-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

I wonder how's the trip going on. Because i'm doing a advanced posting. So yeah, but I know, I would miss her. :(

Hope that my room-mate & group turns out well.

A

2008-06-05T17:10:00.000-07:00

Same thing everything, I don't know if this would really work.

Oh wells, but just. I miss her that's all. If only she's on the trip as well.

P

2008-06-04T17:10:00.000-07:00

I don't really know how this blogger works. All I know is that, there's something called scheduled posting of entries. So I gonna write something.

I miss her. =/ I don't know why am I feeling all these. Maybe absence makes the heart fonder. But damn !

All the loves & misses you can find.

2008-06-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

Once my love,
forever my love, girl.

Aunt's picking me up from my house to send me off at airport, T3 at 9.45pm. I'm kinda looking forward to the shopping day & the day we come back la ! Rather than the first day. =/

Lots of people sent me their wishes. People like MISS TAN ! Woah, thought she forgotten us already. But yeah, she didn't. Almost finished packing. Just left abit of stuffs to settle & put inside. Oh man, I don't know how I should feel now.

Oh well what to do. Words can't describe what I feel now. I might have to find all the loves & misses for her.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you !

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you !

39 & 39. I didn't copy paste ok ! Take care of yourself ok qad ! Don't fall ill after eating so much of the chocolates. :D Cause i'm not there to take care of you for 6 days. Damn, it's gonna be weird, that my phone didn't ring for 6 days !

I'll try to do what you wrote for me yeah, you too ok ! & Don't prepare something for me ah. Seeing you alone is sufficient. :)

10th JUNE ! I'M COMING. DO WHAT YOU PROMISED ! :D

Japan trip's schedule.

2008-06-03T03:15:00.000-07:00

Flight details:
SQ 656
5th June 08 Depart 0100 (Sg) -----> 5th June 08 Arrive 0805 (Fukuoka)

SQ 655
10th June 08 Depart 1015 (Fukuoka) ----> 10th June 08 Arrive 1525 (Sg)

Meeting time: 4th June 08 (Wednesday), 11pm.

Meeting Venue: Singapore Changi International Airport, Terminal 3, Row 10.

Japan trip's itinerary.

4th June 2008 (Wednesday)

Meet at the airport at 11pm to check-in for your flight.

5th June 2008 (Thursday)

Meals: Lunch & Dinner.
Overnight: Romanesque Resort.
Arrive into Fukuoka at 8.05am.
Transfer to Nagomi-machi for lunch.
Forest studies:
-Lecture & field work in Nagomi-machi forest.
Hot Spring Resort.

6th June 2008 (Friday)

Meals: Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner.
Overnight in Superhotel city.
Minamata.
-Meeting with officials from Yamaga City Hall.
-Lunch at Fukuda Farm.
MINAMATA ENVIRONMENTAL PROGRAMME.
-Visit Minamata Environmental Education & Intelligence Centre.
-Minamata Disease Museum.
-Recycling Plant for Appliances & Old equipments.
-Hotto House Visit.

7th June 2008 (Saturday)

Meals: Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner.
Overnight in Superhotel City,
Minamata.
-Visit to E&L Center.
Coastal Studies.
-Eco park & Seawall Construction Study.
River Studies.
-Minamata river.

8th June 2008 (Sunday)

Meals: Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner.
Overnight in Amakuza Plaza Hotel.
PADDY FIELD VISIT.
-Boat ride to Goshoura.
-Cretaceous period Museum Tour & Collecting fossils.

9th June 2008 (Monday)

Meals: Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner.
Overnight in Chisan Hotel Hakata.
Coastal Studies.
-Visit to Tomoezaki,
-Visit to lighthouse for coastal observation of East China Sea.
-Shopping

10th June 2008 (Tuesday)

Meals: Breakfast,
Check-out of hotel for transfer to airport.

WOOT, 10th june ! :)

10/5 =2 + 0 + 0 + 8/2 = 4.

2008-06-03T02:58:00.000-07:00

Beauty lies in the eyes,
of the beholder.

The advanced 1st month wasn't a very smooth success. Simply because, SHE KNOWS ALMOST EVERYTHING. That's not a surprise anymore. =/ But I made up some surprises afterall.

Supposingly we would meet at my void deck at 6.35pm. But the bikers were late. So yeah, me & her went to downtown to eat mac. Left my place at around 7.30pm. Took bus 21 to downtown & had our dinner. Yuxuan & Jun finally came and I passed him some things to do. Didn't do it myself because, lack of time & she thinks i'm up to something.

Did the letter candles thing near pit 22. Don't know why they chose there but Yuxuan told me he's scared cause other places are dark ! Ok, they did a pretty good job though. However, it's not the same as I imagined. But it's all right, equally fine. Light up the candles together & I didn't know they were behind us la ! Took pictures of it.

Biked down to Pasir Ris Inter. It's freaking lots of people man. Had to keep stopping & waiting & slowing down thus, wasting my energy ! So I ended up very lethargic upon reaching. Yuxuan's bike was like, so tough to cycle la. The pedal damn stiff. My bag of the day was PRICELESS.

Train-ed down to Tampines. Walked her home & upon reaching her house, gave her the box of gift for 1st month anvi. Even though it's not something very style or what. But of course la, after my Japan trip would be better. Shortage of time man. ROSE !

Sent her home afterwards. & Japan trip's not far from me, just around 23 hours apart before I fly off. Damn, I would miss her.

Thanks for everything guys. Especially those who accompanied me to get the stuffs, bikers. :) Damn, I love her.

Virgo, perfectionist.

2008-06-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

By being optimistic,
things gets better.

Been out almost everyday. For certain aim, goal, mission to accomplish. Prepared all my Japan stuffs. Just that I haven packed them all in the laguage. All the items were scattered all over in the room & i'm like lazy to organise them la. It's because there's something more important to organise. :)

Went down to Pasir Ris Park last night to fetch her. Because it's like late at night, plus there's tikopeh one. So yeah, die die also go down fetch her. Even if i'm at boonlay, i'd go down. Took cab down & that driver overshot like super far la. Walked from spiderweb to pit 31. Waited for her at pit 27 & she can't see me ! Went over after her call. Sent her home. :)

Lots of thanks to Boris, Ivan, Jun, Xuan for accompany. Been out for like 3 different days just to buy all my stuffs ? Boris bought his Levis watch. Sia la, rich ah sia. Not like mine. Haha ! I think Boris was the worst of all, because he had to accompany me to alot of different areas ? Out in the noon, back during midnight. Thanks alot ah. Give you one sweet if you happen to pass by & see this.

School's cool today. Simply because there's like alot of missing classmates. I bet they thought it was the real school holidays already ! Especially Twk. MIA for don't know how many days. That bugger. Poa mock exam's postpone to 12th June. Under my persuade & influence, she finally gave up. Didn't send her home today, because she thought it would be troublesome for me. Well, it doesn't.

2 more days to the freaking Japan trip. FREAK. I don't wanna sing there man. Argh, the room-mate & team. Worst of all, i'm the leader for group 1. Which part of me looked like I can lead ?!

Let's hope that tomorrow night would turn out cool & successful. CRY !

Indescribable sensation.

2008-05-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

It takes vast amount of courage & emotions,
to say go with him, it's ok,
as long as you're happy.
Even though I didn't mind it.

The beginning on the piece of paper, was all right. Somehow expected. But of course, it would affect me somehow. Seeing her reactions along with her replies at the start, really makes me have that kind of indescribable feeling. Even though I know this problem would occur eventually.

It got worst later on. Self-control, I needed that. Pretendence, I would need that too. I pretended all the while, throughout the whole replies of the piece of paper. But i'm not born to act. Or rather, I can't. Because my emotions would be written all over my face, people who are or were close with me would know. Especially Royston.

Q asked me what was I thinking about halfway. She said I looked serious. It's because I'm deep in thoughts, of what to say or express. Hiding how I felt.

Pretty all right, on the way sending her home. However, something happened. Made me so so so, I don't know. Somehow, felt rejected. Maybe it's one of the way of telling me, her choice I mentioned on the paper ? Or maybe i'm just a pessimistic guy.

Back home, mom called & kp me. F, adding oil to the fire.

One told me, always think of the happy moments you had with her when you're feeling down. That's what I did. Guessed what ? It backfired because i'm happy one moment, & sad another moment. It made me worse because the unhappiness lingers.

Seriously, I need someone to talk to. Someone who I could trust, pour all my worries & doubts to. It is true that it doesn't really pay to be the more well-behaved guy when compared to another one. It took 3, causing swollen & numbness, before I could cool alittle.

It's because, feelings & time & venue would be the factor.

p/s: I'm not pissed off/disappointed/upset/angry or whatever against you. It's just that I felt myself too useless, not able to make you occupied & prevent you from thinking wild & being happy always. Sorry qad.

~~I wonder when would you be thinking of me. After we break or what ? I don't want that, because it's too late. But I still love you.~~

7 days, 6 days.

2008-05-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

A man's greatest achievement,
could be his greatest downfall.

I've been having weird dreams recently. Last night, I dreamt of a group of malay gangsters who came to rob us. Then suddenly changed scene, some ulu area with a haunted house. Then changed again. To an area with mini houses, landscape, slopes & seats you see under your void deck. Saw my schoolmates sitting there & saying hi. Ok, I had weird dreams last night.

I've unusual lifestyle as well. Slept at around 9pm last night, woke up at 1am plus. Probably it's because of the walk in the rain last evening ? Did my stuffs & prepare school stuffs. Slept at around 2am. Woke up at 7am plus & went to meet her and go school.

School's fine. Was disappointed with some matters. But, it's all right. I'll do better next time. Biology teacher didn't appear today. Free period. Self-dismiss ourselves & went for our lunch. Went to Fp. Jianhong, Steph, Min Ning, Natasha, Aryani, Syahrin, Shikin. Did a small prank on them & Aryani's unglam !

RELC course. It's all right la. But kinda, restless ? Because we had to do work this time round. Mr Jack said my hair's style haha. Was pretty lazy to do & Jianhong came to our class this time. Went to bluesea to buy some food & drinks. Walked her home & went back home.

The meaning of being similar with someone. I don't know if it's exactly good or bad.

Am I a eminent guy.

2008-05-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

Words could be a very powerful tool.
Moreover, it's from a special someone.

Woke up pretty late due to some unknown reasons. My alarms wasn't switched on in my phone but I remembered I did switched on. That's weird. So, didn't managed to send her to school today. Was feeling damn guilty la. Took cab down to school & only late for merely few minutes.

Started lessons feeling super restless & bored. Ended up, terribly. Went to had lunch at tenderbest again. With, schoolmates & classmates. I don't know some of their names though. Super long queue man at tenderbest. Steph & her went to bluesea to buy their food while we eat there. Head back to school & up to A.V.A room.

Japan trip issue. I'm paired up with some ulu guy man. Then i'm the leader of group 1. Which was like, I don't know anyone in the group. Thus, I complained to Mr Koh. Gonna stay back after school at 1pm la. It will last until the RELC course starts. Horrible, terrible.

RELC course was pretty awesome & interesting. Maybe, it's mainly because the speaker's equipped with humor sense & stuffs ? He's damn alike to my grandfather man. Amusing guy. The room's freezing cold. I bet polar bears won't die inside. Stuffs happened. My mood went down, literally.

Went off different ways. Sent her home. Was drenched in the rain. Wasn't that bad because the rain's pretty small at that point of time ? Well, after that. Walked all the way home from there. Like very emo only. Bought some stuffs & went home.

I'm so into retro chinese songs recently. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of their meaningful lyrics that depicts my emotions.

Any slightest 'issue' would affect my mood. I don't know why. Over-loving ?

Shot through the heart.

2008-05-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

Being affected by anyone,
is nothing compared to being affected by her.

GCE O levels.

Was asked to report in school by 7.30am by a last minute information. Seriously, I don't know what's the purpose of reaching so early in school. They said it was to adapt to the atmosphere ? The order of the whole thing was so systematic that I wasn't used to it. Entry proof, Ic.

Chinese, this time round. I wasn't hesitating too much & I wrote the moment I understood the question. So it's pretty well done I hope. Plus I managed to finish all the papers just in time. Did question 1 & 5 if i'm not wrong.

Went to have lunch with the usual clique. Steph, Twk, Natasha, me & her. Had lunch at tenderbest. Headed to bluesea for bubbletea after that. I went alone back to school for the japan trip performance thing. Were asked to sing 'we will get there' for the performance. Which is like, super irrelavant. Heard that it was an idea from the E3 people. Well, good job. Dampen my spirit. Well, I didn't sang.

Called her & she was at home already. So headed home & rest. Going out with Boris later to TM for dinner I guess.

乐观的人往往都把事情想成好的一面,
不乐观的人往往把事情想成坏的一面.
我是那个不乐观的人.

Tenebrific.

2008-05-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

About what I said for that issue,
my heart & my mind doesn't correspond,
when I felt it so real,
it got over me.

Today's a day that I wasn't anticipating because there's area cleaning. Plus, there's big breakfast in the parade square under the glaring sun. That's torturing. Left the milos Boris & I bought at her house because I would be meeting her in the morning.

Big breakfast.
She made noodles in the morning. Which of course I would eat la. Haha. There's quite a variety of food this year & we've quite alot of leftover bread. If it's 4E5, 2007. I think there won't be any leftovers man. Took pictures with Miss Yeo twice. :)

Area cleaning.
This was one part that I hated. Really. Took off the very striking green paper from my table & kept it in my file. It took me quite a long time to carefully take out man. Washed & cleaned my table. My table's so clean already but I don't know why i'm washing for. Chat & relax after that.

Junyuan got talent.
Pretty draggy at first. Mr Ng caught my hair finally. Somemore he touched my freaking hair ! But nevermind, he asked me to cut before school reopens. I only liked Fairus' & Steph's & the J10's dance. Others, so so ah. Ok, maybe i'm being alittle bias here. ALITTLE. Some stuffs cropped up & therefore, my mood wasn't very good haha. But it's all right now.

Last chinese seeding lesson.
Was back in class pretty early. Jianhong asked me why i'm so fierce haha. Maybe it's because of the weather, lack of sleep & that matter. Walked around & sat at the staircase alone. After that, my chinese teacher saw me sitting there alone & asked me what happened. But nothing much ah. Merely told her the weather's hot.

The lesson today was pretty relax. But seeing her like this, makes me feel bad la. It's like I affected her or what ? Or maybe it's other issues. But still, makes me sad seeing her like that. My chinese teacher told us to have sufficient sleep. I think she's saying me lor haha.

Lunch.
Ate mac. Felt alittle better after that, but had to rush back to school for Japan trip meeting. They waited for me outside school because I don't know what time it would end.

During the meeting.
Told them to go back first if they're tired or what. Because it would take up some time & I don't want them to wait for me. Started at 3:30pm & ended at 4.45pm like that. Alot of parents staring at me when I reached man. Alamak. Mr Koh said we're representing the school & therefore school rule applies. Asked the guys to get a decent haircut & he looked at me. I think he's saying me also lor haha.

After everything.
Walked to her house there & accompany Sebas & Steph to wait for their bus. Slacked at the usual place & talked about some stuffs. Random random random. Went home after that.

Please don't worry about me, i'm fine.

5(19), 1(9) 3(23) 3(14) 4(1) 2(20) 2(4) 4(23) 1(9) 4(19),
1(9) 4(11) 3(25) 3(1) 5(3) 2(20) 3(8) 2(1),
3(2) 6(19) 4(23) 2(8) 3(4) 6(18) 5(13) 2(13) 4(6) ...
3(2) 5(4') 4(13) 2(13),
1(9) 4(23) 3(7) 4(15) 2(9),
7(2) 1(9) 4(12) 3(25).

Super short entry.

2008-05-20T20:16:00.000-07:00

26 letters A B C to X Y Z.
I won't arrange I & U together,
but I would put 8 letters together.

Very short entry.

- Horrible results therefore leads to horrible mood.
- Lack of sleep therefore leads to terrible temper.
- Teacher's concern therefore leads to being guilty.
- This 3 points therefore made up my day today.

& Lastly, aku cinta pam.

Ada cinta.

2008-05-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

You'll always be running around in my mind,
because I can't stop thinking of you qad.

Study study study. Math's such a drag. Only managed to reach the second paper 2 of the maths booklet. I'm so far behind man. =/ Out studying as usual. Just that after my usual study session, I would meet up with Boris to continue for a little bit more.

Sending Mr Chaw off to Melbourne. There's such a huge group of schoolmates. Familiar faces all around at T3. Supposingly at T2 but discovered that it's at T3 after checking the flight information. There's around 43 or 48 people that we know over there. Doesn't consist of the lower secondary people.

Slack-ed around & stuffs. Karan treat-ed me one sweet at candyempire ! OH my god. Thanks man. Weekiat played with her accessory. I don't know what's that called. But all I know was that Weekiat played it with my hand & it got stuck. Bloody painful because it's stuck at the elbow there. Larry if i'm not wrong, helped me to take it off. Thanks man. :) After that, they played with the mini trolley with the slopes. Damn joker.

Went off around 10pm plus 11pm with Jianhong & her. Seperated with Jianhong after that & sent her home. Took bus 293. :) That was our first week anniversary, wow, that's pretty fast. ilyp. :) Sent her to her doorstep haha !

I've some plans in mind. There's alot of things involved. Shall not mention here because someone would see it. But all I know, I hope she would find it romantic, sweet, high, elated & lastly, feel loved. :)

There's no words to describe you. Because i'm addicted to you.

p/s:
It's just one of the way to show that I love you. I don't care if it's troublesome or xinku for me. As long as I can make you feel loved in any ways. One memorable moment for our advanced first month anniversary. :)

Agony of my mind.

2008-05-14T19:26:00.000-07:00

Time doesn't matter,
as long as we've deep feelings for each other.

Last minute again, english 'mock exam.' Always last minute tell us got test one leh. But there's no one to blame, because o level's not far from us. Everything's fine except for P.E.

Retake 2.4 again but wasn't feeling right to run you see. But Hariza & Jianhong asked me to run again, because she've got gold & don't want me lose to her haha. But i've already beat her timing ! But yeah, retake & it was horrible. I think it's because I ran with all I have for the first round ? Seriously, I myself think that it's too fast haha.

Can't blame, i'm born to be a short distance sprinter, not a long distance runner haha. Was feeling super sick during the second round & thus, I stopped. Yes, the feeling was like, just die la. The headache almost killed me but my body was able to keep running just that my mind can't take it. So I stopped, & finished 2.4 at a timing of 17min plus. Damn crap.

She got 'bastard-ed' to follow me to the water cooler & hand me tissues haha. Damn cute la. Was feeling extremely sick & thus slept in class during recess. Wanted to just sleep on the floor ah. But unglam. She woke me up & bought me a drink. Thanks qad. :)

English test was like, a copying of work ? Because she allowed us to lift from the passage & thus, everyone did the same. For newspaper report & essay. Now that's funny.

Had lunch at tenderbest. Jianhong, Sebas, Sabri, Twk, Me & her. Joked & ate. Amazingly, I wasn't the last to finish haha. Sent her home after everything. Uniform uniform.

& Mr Ang apologized to me for his temper during the chinese mock exam. Because of some irritants & I guessed he got pissed off. So yeah, somehow treated me badly when collecting my paper. But it's ok, I understand. I wasn't fed up at all haha.

The role of you & me.

My _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
You _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

Sarcasm is a beauty.

2008-05-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

It doesn't matter when we got teased,
as long as i'm with you.

Mock exams, mock exams, & a mini test. Chinese exam was such a drag. Chemistry was all about memory & attention work. But I forgot some of them. School's pretty fine today, because there's no lessons but it was replaced by the exams. I think i'm gonna score badly this time for all the exams. Especially humanities & chinese. Couldn't finish 1-2 questions in humanities.

Weather's too good for comfort. There's time to sleep except for paper 2 because I struggled with the comprehension. Even though I finished everything, but I think I won't score well for some reasons ? Ah, plain lazyness.

It has been a while ever since I attended chemistry remedial. Forgot that i've a japan trip meeting after school. But luckily, saw Mr koh at knowledge zone. Was going through our chinese paper. I scored so badly. I just hate paper 1 haha.

That's crap. We have to do some performance during our exchange programme in Japan. Woah, that made me don't feel like going anymore. =/ I've no idea what I could do for the performance man. & The trip is on 4th - 10th june. Yes ah ! 10th ! But I not sure what time i'll be back ? Hopefully it would be early man.

After checking through our paper, sent her home after that. But we are going to meet again in like less than an hour time ? Gonna go night study with her haha. :)

Just one picture of you & me.

I'm _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _'re _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ & _ _ _ _ _ _ & _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. :)

My Miss & Your Mr.

2008-05-12T20:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my actions, shocked both of us.
Not only her, but myself as well.

Today's the marking day. It means no school but we've to go to school for the farewell party for Mr Chaw. The teacher who bears the same name as me just that it's in the reverse order. It's pretty sad to see him leave, but it's pretty guilty to hold him until after our O levels.

Awake at about 10am plus. Prepared everything & stuffs. Went out while holding on to another top because I had plans after the party. Reached inter at about 11pm plus & it's pretty late already. So I told Miss Zaleha beforehand that i'll be late. Saw Twk & Alexander at inter so went to school together.

Alexander went off with his friends first while Twk & me went to get drinks for the party. Bought her favourite bubbletea before heading to buy drinks for the party. Met Alexander at the school main gate & went in. We were the last group to arrive.

Proceed with the party with anticipation but it became more of a gathering instead of a farewell party. Delications, piano performance, guitar performance & sutffs. However, there's something that was the main concern. Food. Because there's a spread there, or rather it's all right. Got bastard-ed by classmates & others haha. That was one embarrassing moment.

Asked Natasha to teach me how to play piano. After that was some kind of class family time as we gathered in a circle to listen what Mr Chaw had to say. It's gonna be the last few times that we get to see & talk & listen to him. Accompanied Mr Chaw back to staff room & the girls gave him a 'Heart-shaped' jelly. Packed up, changed & went off.

Down to Bugis, Cityhall & Vivo with her. Filled our stomachs & walked about. Saw alot of familiar faces but almost all are her friends ? However, I enjoyed the moments we spent together seriously. & I've something in mind.

Took bus 65 back home. Yes, moments. We both know. The ride was a long & tedious one but it's all right as long as i'm with her. Sent her home after that. & She left something with me due to her forgetful-ness. Haha, silly girl. :)

Sometimes I wished that i'm daring enough in those situations.

Triple the happiness, thrice the heartbeat.

2008-05-10T21:30:00.000-07:00

Facing the unexpected, no doubt,
do back the same.

A summurized of what I did since the last day I posted. There's no escape from studying. Afterall, our major obstacle will be the same isn't it. O levels, so there's no escape from studying. Just that next week will be the mock exam period when they said there's no mid year exam. Ironic.

My current life will consist of, studies, friends, entertainment, school's field trip & her. I'm so elated on 10thmay2008. Because my wish came true. The ru guo you yi tian came. 10th May was the you ti tian haha. :)

Today's activity, study session. Twk didn't attend because of his painful mouth. So yeah, studied with her. Saw alot of familiar faces there. Sent her home after our studying session. :)

Sometimes, I wish the time would just stop right there.
Sometimes, I'm relunctant to leave.

The 10th, the 10th.

2008-05-05T20:29:00.000-07:00

I could be your eyes, because you can't see far.
I could be your support, because your legs would hurt sometimes.
I could be your listener, because you always looked so moody.
I could be your helper, because of your lao mao bing.
I could be your reminder, because of your gastric.
I could be your man, when the day finally comes.

School's pretty stressful for me nowadays. Especially maths ! Whenever I see the maths tys, i'll feel so pathetic. Because there's so much I don't understand. Ok, call it plain lazy. Recess time was pretty pathetic as well because there's so little students in the canteen. There's no haircheck today but I feel that there'll be one soon. AGAIN.

End of school lessons & remedials. Went to had our high coke instead of tea at mac. Jianhong, Sebas, Sabri, Steph, Me & her. Joked & chatted there. Was feeling pretty sick on the way there because it might be due to my headache. But I felt so much better after the meal & yeah.

Walked her home & chatted some stuffs. Htht. Talked about so much sensitive questions & matters. There's 3 more person who know about the thing today. But it's all right haha. :)

3 senses & 1 L.

2008-05-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

Being hurt physically is nothing,
as compared to mentally or heart issues.

I kept waking up last night. I don't know what's the reason but at least i've got ample rest. Out to study with her at airport because her study partner for today was kinda sick. So went out to study with her. Weekiat did not turn up because he was feeling lethargic, Jianhong did not pick up our calls.

Met at 12.45pm. Reached at about same time just that i'm behind her after alighting the bus & she don't know about it. Top-ed up ez & head to airport.

Studied at BK & had our lunch there. BK chicken rather than BK fish. Finish eating & proceed to our study session. Did maths, chemistry, poa. Ended our study session at around 4pm plus.

Walked around the airport. Coldstorage, T3 & stuffs. Sat at the fountain at T3 & rested. Went back to tampines at around 5pm plus 6pm. She went to meet someone while she asked me to go home. Was super, duper, guper, relunctant to go home without sending her home.

So much weird things happened when i'm asked to go home.

Firstly, a double-decked bus 10 somehow had problem & was stuck at the middle of interchange. It caused a traffic jam inside. Waited kinda long until the problem's solved.

Secondly, the bus that I took to go home, had pretty dim light.

Thirdly, near my living area. There's 2 GUY banglas having a pinic at the grasspatch having a pinic during the sunset.

Fourthly, my sister's bf's at our house now after i've finished my shower.

This' such a drag.

On a heavier rather than a lighter note. There's haircheck tomorrow. Made me more irritated.

However, I understand what you're trying to imply. So it's all right.

_ S _ _ Y _ _,
_ H _ _ _ Y _ _,
_ F _ _ _ Y _ _,
_ L _ _ _ Y _ _.

A quiz.

2008-05-02T14:49:00.000-07:00

1. what you want the most now?

- Money of course, who don't ?
- Making her feel loved & happy.
- Good grades.

2. who is the person you trust most?

- PLENTY. But mostly will be her & boris & co.

3. what do you think of yourself?

- Sentimental & emotional ? I think I would jump to conclusions when not relax-ed. I would do things unexpectedly. Especially now.

4. if you could have a dream come true, what would it be?

- To many to fufil.

5. do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?

- Yes. I've a picture of it.

6.what is your goal this year?

- Do what my heart tells me. Do what my mind tells me.

7.do you believe in eternity love?

- Not really, because I haven seen or tried a very deep one.

8.have you broken someones heart that he/she tried to commited suicide?

- I don't think so.

9.whats feeling do you love most?

- Enjoying my remaining free time with her & my friends. Of course being loved & her unexpected actions/expressions.

10.what would be the requirement that you wish from your other half?

- Not much. But it takes 2 hands to clap. As long as she loves me. It's all right man. :)

11.what feeling do you hate most?

- Demoralized, cheated, losing & jealousy.

12.do you cherish every single friendship of yours?

- Yes, I do.

13.who do you hate the most?

- Bastards & bitches. Who backstabs & being a hypocrite.

14.what do you think is most important thing in your life?

- Studies for now, career later. A group of sociable friends & a good love life.

15.who do you hope to always be there for you?

My trusted friends.

16. who is your best friends?

Everyone who doesn't speak ill of me.

All or nothing.

2008-05-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

This kind of issue, involves 2 party.
It's not just one.

Typical school day yesterday. Lessons was manageable or rather pretty easy to get through. Chinese seeding programme after that. Was super relunctant to go down due to some reasons. After so much persuading from teacher, I finally went down. With a very dilatory speed.

Vanessa & I was like waving good bye from inside the class to outside the class. Jieling & minning waved like those concert styles. So I was like, "Thanks guys for attending the concert, good night guys, you rock." & I think we took like 10-15mins to get to another class.

Another class was extremely boring. Sneaked out at around 2pm. Wanted to go find her but just found out that they wasn't released yet. I think I went in & out the school for like 3 times. Saw her coming down at the staircase & sent her home. Headed home after that.

Went out again at around 5pm plus to meet her. :) She walked to my house with sebas. Went off with her after seperating ways with sebas. Stroll-ed to the polyclinic there & decided to go Pasir Ris to get her art stuffs.

Travelled here & there but it's worth it. Right ? I hope you felt how I felt. Back at Tampines around 6pm plus. Walked her home after that. After that went to find Boris at usual corner. Slacked & chatted. Back home at 9pm plus.

I understand. I love the moments yesterday too.

1(9) 10(21) 4(25) 5(6),
4(20) 3(23) 3(23) 1(9) 4(7) 3(25) 4(20) 2(20) 6(16),
5(20) 2(9) 2(14) 4(14) 3(6) 3(25) 2(20) 5(1),
7(2) 1(9) 4(23) 6(1) 2(2) 5(20) 3(6) 3(25).

*o d**g ra* *hi d*o n* *e k* **ong.
w* do* z*i *ao.
*o g*i *i d* sh* j**n *hi ra** *i g*n j**n ***ng.
k* **i *he *ie *o do* h** g*i n*.

So silly, so cute, so sweet.

2008-05-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

4 flavours to be tasted,
but so far, it's just sour-ness & sweet-ness.

Slept late, woke up early. That's today's schedule. Early in the morning around 9am plus 10. Went lots of places to take photos. Just one word, tired. But it's worth the effort despite the weather. It's terribly hot.

Tampines, Changi, Bugis, Cityhall, Raffles, Suntec, Esplanade. Staircases, structures, random pictures everywhere. Dashing around the roads or walking rounds & rounds. Out at around 10am. Back at 6pm plus.

I think everything I ate/drank today, was all her intro ? Hcc, sphc, gi, sushi frenzy. It's super weird eating sushi(s) just beside MRT station ? But, we don't care haha. & I think most of the sushi were eaten by me ? Because she would say. "Eat la eat leh & hand me the sushi." So yeah, I don't think she's full.

After everything. Took bus 10 at around 4pm plus. I simply love the moments on the particular bus' journey. I think only she knows why.

Ntuc for some drinks. After which, something happened. Which was pretty .... yeah. Sent her home after that & back-ed home.

You're so cute, i'd love your stares & your actions.

Just a little random-ness.

2008-05-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

The mind & the heart doesn't correspond.
It's so high yet so down.

Fine is the school. I'm pretty lethargic this few days. It's not the lack of sleep, but it's something else that made me felt like that. Lessons were all right, just that some lessons I felt like closing my eyes & fall back. Drop dead on the floor & sleep.

There's some conflict between some people today. So yeah, pretty happening today. Didn't managed to know what happened. Hang out after school, had ice-cream. She's being a greedy girl by eating 2 ice-creams. Went back slightly late for chemistry remedial. Combined class with e2.

After chemistry remedial, Miss Zaleha mentioned about some issues that made me felt like.. oh my god, she knew what's going on kind of feeling. But it doesn't matter anyway. Everyone knows. =/ Had lunch with Jianhong, Sebas, Sabri, Steph, Me & her at kfc. Had a little chat with her after everyone went seperate ways.

Sent her home. Headed back home & replenish my tiredness. Chatted & decoded. Out again with Boris & Yuxuan after that. Met up & off to ivan's house to deliver him some stuffs. Hang out there for quite abit of time.

Took cab back to TM. Bought my stuffs as I needed them tomorrow. Haha. I think it's gonna be not-so-good-looking. Oh man. It's all right though. Slacked at opposite TM. Relax walking to MRT station to top up my ez & took bus 28 home. Kinda hectic day.

I'm really glad.

n* s*u* *i b* h*i s*u* c*u l*i,
k* s*i n* h*i s*i s*u* *e,
n* s*u* c*u l*i l* d**g *an y*u y**g,
*in* w*i zh* s*a* w* z*i d*o,
n* m*n m*n *i h**n s**n* *o *e.

What if.

2008-04-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

When people are out there crying/sad,
they should think what makes them happy.

School's pretty stressful today. Just when we're about to settle down for reading session, was called out by the HOD of chinese. Not only me. Jianhong & Vanessa. It's due to us skipping the chinese seeding programme.

Got reprimanded. But with those chim chinese anicent words. Was told to write a apology letter, in chinese letter writing format. Ok, that was kind of exaggerating. But yes, we did it. Kind of stupid. The reason that I didn't attend was because I find it a waste of time when you can't even understand the lesson.

I willingly gave up my space for others, who were very enthu to go as told by the HOD. In the end they didn't even take me off & they're putting all the blame to me. This is hilarious.

Other lessons were fine. Lunch at 827. Jianhong-Steph-Sebas-Twk-Boris-Me & her. Went back to maths remedial & was alittle late. Mr ang wasn't on a very good mood. Tried to get him to talk when he's near me but to no vaild. Got pretty irritated by the questions in Tys.

Ended up pretty lethargic after everything. Went seperate ways after that. Sent steph to bus stop. Had a talk like how we used to. Just that this time, there's more silent moments. Maybe it's due to my mood. Well, math's always such a drag. Sent her home after that.

Being sick physically doesn't mean it's time for her to rest.

4(16), 6(20) 3(6) 3(1) 3(20) 7(3) 1(9) 4(8) 3(7) 4(6) 3(25).
6(20) 3(6) 4(25) 8(18) 6(1) 2(9) 1(9) 2(1) 4(6).
2(20) 4(20) 3(25) 3(20) 5(20), 1(9) 2(1) 5(19) 6(16) 5(19) 2(1) 3(20) 3(2) 3(1) 5(2) 7(13).
4(25) 7(1) 6(18) 5(7) 2(13) 1(1) 6(18) 9(8). :)

H, h, c.

2008-04-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

Map don't just give you direction,
they give you advices & ideas.

Monday blue. So school's not a very good matter today. But it's still manage-able. Sigh, I just don't understand that particular topic man. Got me so, irritated. So irritated as I could even lost to someone not of my normal standard. Sigh, life.

I think I should be down to every possible remedials, so to reimburse my own mistake. But, provided i've got the mood & time. I think I should lucubrate soon.

Went to bluesea to fill our stomachs. Jianhong, Steph, me & her. Sat there & finish our food and drinks. Planned to meet Huishan, so yeah. Went back to around school there & met up with her. Chatted & stuffs. Sabri joined us.

She went off to accompany someone. Which we followed suit after that. Sabri went off before us. Alittle moments after that, we took bus home. Saw Quek. It has been such a long time ever since we've seen each other. That red & black pig.

Fill my voice with the emotion I'm feeling for you.
And now when the beat is so strong.
I'd give my heart and my soul.

Heart-attacking moments.

2008-04-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

It's not the starting or the ending that makes one high,
it's the process.

Usual study session. Wk didn't turn up due to his eye being sore eyes soon. So he need some time to rest. So yeah, out to study with her. Took my own sweet time again.

Wore the new top & used the new bag. Oh my, god. It's like very long in length man. I wonder how is it for her haha ! Met up & eat & studied. Saw a few familiar faces. Some are her friends while some are mine. Saw Fairus, Graduated malay guys, Clemence & co. Didn't know Clemence's so royal to school, wearing the school p.e shirt.

Studied from 1pm plus to 5pm plus. Walked to near her house there. Chatted & slacked. Didn't know that Fairus was on the line when we were talking. Found out that it's me, accidentally call or answer his call. & yeah, it's around 9 mins for the call.

Sent her home after that & went home. & didn't know that my sis & bf was behind me after interchange. Didn't saw them board & stuffs. I'm so blur today. =/

I need to get fitter. So, I hope it's good enough for you at least for now. Just like the heart-attacking moments.

Monkeys told me, they don't joke.

2008-04-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

Even when the world come crushing down,
I'll be here.
You can lean on me, for sure.

Today's a pretty hectic day. MRT's my best friend as i'm travelling here & there. Early, yes. I meant early in the morning, i've to extend my passport's expiry date. And another yes. I'm going Japan. But there's so much things to do & so much issues I can't put down. Oh yes, provided you get me.

Met Jiasen at small mac, 9am. Wore pretty, pretty, casual clothes. Lavender's our destination & we reached there pretty early. 3rd floor & took queue no. & waited & it's my turn & hand over passport & the staff's so rude & i'm done. So we went off, headed back to Tampines. It's stupid, because we thought we were gonna wait very long.

Seperated, reached home in less than an hour & more than a second. It's 11pm. Relaxed & chilled. Headed out again to meet her.

Bugis, bugis, bugis. That's where we went. Where pretty pretty bags, very very style clothes, very very cool shoes were. Of course, the crowd's pretty stylo too. Got me all perspired.

Had our meals at LJS.

Purchased a so called, one-sided-bag & bagpack. We've got the same bag. The uncle thought we were ... yeah you get me.

Spotted a pretty pretty white top for her. I bought a greenish whitish shirt. My taste's that good. No, i'm just kidding. Of course, i've cut it down to 2 paragraphs but it's actually a pretty long, long, long walk around. :)

Due to the supererogatory time we had. Decided to take bus 10 back to Tampines. Walked, talked, chatted. Reached the bus stop opposite esplanade. Waited for the ~~damn~~ bus for so long ! Ok, i'm just exaggerating.

I'm still pretty stuck at the moments during the bus ride home.

Sent her home, took bus, went home. :)

If you get it, chimpanzee.

2008-04-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

Don't be upset, because you don't get to see her.
Don't be upset, because you're still staying near her living area.
Don't be upset, because you're forever staying under the similar sky as her.
Just that what we see, will be different.

Woke up extremely early. Met her & school-ed.

School's so much better than yesterday. I guessed i'm back on track. Lessons were all right as i'm able to concentrate as much as usual days. Aryani's sick. No one to entertain my nonsense. I'm always bored, so I do silly things with Karan & Sabri.

Seeing what you wrote yesterday, made me feel guilty about affecting you. I didn't know you would be affected, really. At least now I know.

Chinese seeding's a breeze. Maybe because I really did put in effort in doing that article. Or perhaps it's a easy topic for me to write. Went for Japan brief at 2.15pm. All those admin stuffs & boring issues. Ended at 2.45pm. Went off with her. Sorry for making you wait for me so long.

The things we did in sequence. Walk-Buy-Walk-Buy-Walk-Slack-Eat-Chat-Disturb-Call-Home. Yeah, that's all.

12 hours, 24 words.

A moody thursday.

2008-04-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

Love's marked on the day, when you've decided on her.
Start of the process, when everyone gets to know about it.
Love strikes, when both are together.
But love kills, when both fall apart.

The time on the clock was ticking so slowly. I can't wait to end school & head home. It was because of 4, or rather 5 matters. The combination of the 5 resulted my moody day. Everyone was asking me about it.

I was in deep thoughts. I don't know why. I just felt that i'm not as capable as others in term of relationships. Not able to make her as happy as he did. So, I kept quiet for the whole of today. Avoiding & pretending that everything's fine. But my emotions betrayed.

One by one, friends walked past me & asking me what happened. I merely said nothing. I just felt like keeping quiet for today. However, things doesn't go my way. I couldn't hide forever. I told boris everything. Just as i'm on the verge of giving up, something happened.

I saw the whole incident. I couldn't help but felt worried for that split second. I just can't ignore the fact that I care for her. But I choose to stay where I am. That was when I know that this wasn't something that I could just put down. There's so much concern from me that I wanna let you know.

Your continuous staring & asking, simply disrupt whatever i'm doing. You know your stares affects me alot. By any ways or means. Moreover, concern this time. Hitting things doesn't work this time. I don't know why. Knuckles took the pain but emotions remain the same. Nothing hurts.

After maths remedial, I did the right choice. We & alexander, went to have lunch. After that, we had a heart-to-heart talk. Certainly made me felt alot, alot better. We chatted for quite a long period of time. Got to know more things, of course, she got to know more as well. Boris' question did helped out. Even though i've to call & ask him what he told her. But it's all worth it. Thanks boris.

Her response to boris' question, will be a good thing for me. Sent her home after the talk. Told me about her history of relationships. I guessed I did the right thing.

Reluctant to speak last night, speechless in school, got back on track tonight.

Take a risk.

2008-04-23T20:35:00.000-07:00

More & more people, know about the thing. But i'm cool with it. :)

School's wonderful. I'm coping with everything, except for the weather. It's extremely humid & stuffy. Especially at my seat, since it's so near to the window. There's something happening in school today.

Shuhada got hit by a broom, which was thrown from 1st storey to the 2nd storey. She got hit at the head & around the backbone. She saved her friend & got hit instead. What a great friend man. I only got to know about it through my cliques.

After school, was out eating with my circle of friends. Was late for chemistry remedial & saw Fairus' company outside the school.

End of remedial, went outside school & relax abit. Was told that Jianhong, Pamm, Steph, Aryani will be heading to CGH to see Shuhada. So yeah, joined them with TanWeeKiat. Was getting crappy on bus, on the way to CGH.

Was discussing what to get for her for visiting. So I suggested an apple. Yes, just one. Steph suggested a fruit cake. Which I told her that, is the cake for celebrating that she've got a concussion ? Brad said, give Shuhada a picture of him. I told him it will scare her to death instantly. Aryani asked, cookies ? I said no. We might be the one eating it & she'll be the one smelling it. So yeah, overall. I'm a bastard HAHA.

They suggested flowers. So yeah, they went to pluck flowers outside CGH. Wk was being a joker by plucking alot of flowers & putting inside Jianhong's bag. Bought proper flowers inside CGH. It cost $18. So we head on to her ward.

We searched for ward 34, as told by her mother. But to no valid. We asked the information counter for the ward. He told us this. "There's no ward 34. That's a prison ward." We were like .... laughing. So I said this. Shuhada got hit by a broom & got sent to a prison ward. Yes, we were so noisy inside. But I like.

Visited her, jokes & laughters. I told so much jokes today. I don't know why. HAHA, maybe i'm alittle bit abnormal today. Another group of schoolmates came. Being a friendly guy. I made so much friends today. Even though the main concern should be Shuhada. :(

WE, cam-whore in the hospital. It's like super weird & awkward as people were staring at us. Shuhada's bed was surrounded by us. It's like a welcome party. Went seperate ways around 6.30pm.

Sent her home as there's only both of us. Wanted to disturb Fairus but he wasn't at home. So yeah, took photos & accompanied her home. Went home after that.

This is the first time for so long that i've posted such a detailed entry. :) I'm pretty elated today.

A lie a day, makes your day complete.

2008-04-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

School's all right, all right. I'm so gonna flung my maths test again. I've been forced to write this entry. :( If not someone don't wanna post her entry up you see. Haha ! Ok, not really forced la. Alittle, alittle of my own will.

I'm able to go Japan man. Woot, but ah, no friends man. Mates from my class will be Fadhly, Ivan, JiaSen. Others, I don't wanna say much. You people should know what I meant. Twk, Alexander, Boris they all not going. It's gonna be boring.

It's all right. I'll still go for the experience & yeah, the jap girls. HAHA. No la, you all should know. I've like half a year more to, you know. Ok, I think i'm the only one who know.

I've not yet complete my homework man. I don't feel the motivation tonight.

I like her, & everyone knows. SEE, I said i'll write this if you asked me to blog.

Close-ness with alittle refusal & without a name.

2008-04-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

Typical school days, lessons & remedials. It's just that i'm pretty lethargic during maths remedial. Probably because of the weather? Did something & it was found out. Oh man haha! SG! It has been a while that i'm always heading home straight after school. The stress & tiredness, perhaps.

It took me 6 days to recover. So yeah, i'm so much better now haha. If you people know what i'm referring to. & Try to guess the meaning of my title.

Well, SG doesn't know haha! Still need me to explain. Tsk.

Does your name begin with: C

You are a very social individual, and it i s important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

SEPTEMBER
Suave and compromising

Careful, cautious and organise

Likes to point out people's mistakes

Likes to criticize

Quiet but able to talk well

Calm and cool

Kind and sympathetic

Concerned and detailed

Trustworthy, loyal and honest

Does work well

SensitiveThinking

Good memory

Clever and knowledgeable

Loves to look for information

Must control oneself when criticising

Able to motivate oneself

Understanding

Secretive

Loves sports, leisure and travelling

Hardly shows emotions

Tends to bottle up feeling

Choosy especially in relationships

Loves wide things

Systematic

VirgoTurn ons:

Virgo`s are very methodical and have great sense of duty but are blind to their own faults so if you have a Virgo partner emphasize more on their qualities (as it is they are not going to accept). Take keen interest in what they are doing and you will realize that they will go out of their way to help you. Do rely and appreciate their mental powers than physical powers. They can turn even an unsuccessful venture into a success.

Turn offs:

Do not push a Virgo into limelight or on the center stage unless of course they do so on there own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be cynosure of all eyes. Virgo`s have a secrets that virtuous as they are would not like to come out in open so even if you have the key to their secret skeleton closet hide it do not admit even that you know anything about it. Virgo, the virgins, does not want to tarnish their public image.

p/s: I find it pretty true for some of the points. Hope she feels the same too.

CREDIT: BOB.

Beautiful.

2008-04-06T23:20:00.000-07:00

I don't know if i'm the one for you in this life,
I can't help hearing my voice calling your name,
Cause when I trying so hard not to look in your eyes,
Maybe I've fallen in love with you.

A fantastic song lyrics. & I've been doing nothing for this weekend, really. I think all the time I've spent was staring into the blank.

FREAKKK. Just finished my geo homework, poa homework undone, bio test studied halfway, history test untouched. & JIELING tempting me to play audi HAHA.

Studying later.

Commixture of every possible songs.

2008-04-05T23:02:00.000-07:00

my life 一直在等待:
I've been waiting, everytime. For all my love life. Months, years. But for you will be around 14 months & 5 days.

why 总是被打败:
I always tend to give up halfway. I'm just lacking courage & confident.

我要勇敢大声说出来:
It doesn't matter. Everyone knows it, or even guessed it. Whether I said it or not, it doesn't make a difference.

我猜你早已发现我的爱:
You found out last december. Through your ways & means.

沒什麼能做但我比誰都真誠:
Even though there's nothing I can do now. But I know that i'm more sincere & serious in it.

我該如何讓你明白我愛你:
I don't know about it.

我愿意不爱你:
I'll do it until you're all right with it.

你说属于我们的回忆你都不能够继续:
If we're talking about steading, it's impossible. But as best friends, it's possible.

深夜里无法习惯没有你:
I bet i'll miss the smses & night calls to you.

该说的时候早应该大声的说:
I should have said those earlier, so as to end it earlier. Because I know that it's impossible for us.

閉上眼默唸三遍 Call my name 我就出現:
I'll always be there for you, regardless.

祝福你是我的保护色专心扮演朋友的角色:
I'll always be your best friend.

永远不后悔:
I'll never regret this.

你和我會不會有以後:
As you said, you're sick of relationships. So, I think it's impossible.

我的愛/溫柔只想讓你都擁有:
You're the only one who can make me feel like this. It's even stronger than the previous one.

我不配:
But, I'm not worthy.

HOWEVER,

And as long as I'm living
I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing
I'll be there
Whenever you call me
I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me
I'll be there

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart

The harder I try to break away, the more I get lost in yesterday

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had

BUT

What hurts the most
was being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away

感謝我不可以　住進妳的眼睛
所以才能　擁抱妳的背影
有再多的遺憾　用來牢牢記住
不完美的所有美麗

感謝我不可以　擁抱妳的背影
所以才能　變成妳的背影
躲在安靜角落
不用妳回頭看不用珍惜
(如果妳回頭看不用在意)

那是我最后一次打给你了
希望你好好照顾自己.

If you get what I mean. & If only I know how you feel about me.

Let me vent my emotions here for alittle more. It'll be all right soon, I believe.

Confessions of a broken heart.

2008-04-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

I've told you everything, I hope you understand.
But it doesn't matter anymore, since you want it that way, i'll respect your decision.
You don't wanna get involved in relationships & enjoying single-hood, spend more time with friends. It's all right. I understand.
But i'm not all right at all.

I'm not all right, seriously. But who really cares anyway. It has been like a year plus & i've kept it a secret since then. For so long, it's tough to face the girl you liked so long & you can't express it out. Hints & clues just don't get to you. But it's all right. It'll be over soon.. real soon...

Seriously, don't ask me anything. I'm not in the mood for that, at least for now. I'm turning off my phone for a little while. I don't feel like communicating with anyone tonight.

Thanks for everything, making my heart skip a beat when you made eye-contact with me. & Sorry for not talking much today.

The rain drops, the tear falls.

2008-03-31T00:31:00.000-07:00

30.03.08
Went out to study with Pam & Twk. She has got a new nickname. :) It's called BOB haha ! Because of some reasons, yeah. Throughout the whole session was pretty fine, just that my eyes were damn irritated. Which causes her to call me 'red eyes'. Well, better than her BOB ! Met at 12pm plus which rained on the way there. Dismissed at 5pm.

Returned home & went to meet Boris. Did FC. Gonna do more of it, yeah, hopefully it will be daily. Slacked after FC. Somehow, we were lying on the wooden kind of tables & benches you know ? And catch up with our lives & you know. It's ok if you don't know haha ! As long as Boris & me understand what we're talking about. Back home again at 8pm plus.

To you-know-who:

Seriously, I could let you have a bitter 16 IF I wanted to. But you know what ? The one who stopped me was the person who you so called treasured most. So I thought I should have give you some face & let you high for a little on your birthday. & Since you've high enough, it's time ?

Frankly speaking, I won't talk to you. If it wasn't her or any of my close friends, I won't care less. I know you'll be wondering why the F am I interfering this issue. But the main concert will be you, speaking of her & of course, saying you have bad blood with me. Which is pretty obvious.

I believe she have explained & blogged her piece. It's up to you to believe her & stuffs. But since both of you cleared the misunderstandings. I think it's time for mine. But I must say this, should friends have the authority to control your own choice of friends ? Don't tell me you're gonna stick to ONE friend in the whole school ? Since you're so sociable & friendly, you should have a dozen of friends. Since it's not my issue, I won't go in detail. You know it yourself.

Ok, clearing of the bad blood issue. I would like to know, how many time you bastard me in the past. You can go recall & count. I know it, you know it. I'll give you one simple example. A typical outing to study, you've bastard me more than 2 times already. So, you can go think how many more. & Since we WERE so close.

Way back in the past. Advices & stuffs doesn't work on you. When you were sad, who was the one who console you in msn or even in class ? When you were confused, who was the one who gave you advices ? When you were angry, who was the one who made you relax ? When you were crying in class because of some incidents, who was the one who comfort you ? When you were studying alone at mac one fine night, who was the one who made the effort to find you & accompany you. & send you home ?

I believe there's so much more. & What did I get in return ? Sometimes not even a 'thanks'. Worst of all, & I remembered the last sentence you sent me.

'Don't tag me at my blog or talk to me, HE not happy about it.' Wow, thanks ah. So where did all my care, concert, comfort, console went to ? Just because of your boyfriend's not very happy about it, you could just push someone away & treat it like you don't care. No boyfriend = die. If that's the case, I think you've been dying for so long.

I don't know how much people hate you. But I do know, I dislike you. Simply because of your attitude. Because you could just bastard someone for the sake of your boyfriend. Who knows when they will get bastard by you ? I'm always there for you when you're feeling down in the past, you know it. But when your boyfriend comes to play ? 'Eh don't talk to me, HE not very happy' was what you gave me.

Yeah thanks ah. I can dig up alot of unhappiness moments IF I wanted to you know. My birthday last year, Jiaen's birthday. You, quarrelling with Jiaen because of HIM. Quarrelling with me because of HIM. Your so called, 'fake' break up with him after his O levels. Told me you'll surely do it then we could go celebrate or something. In the end ? I got bastard again. Seriously, I did so much just to get bastard.

Hah, bad blood with me. I think the problem lies in you, not me. You could go reflect about yourself while facing your wall at home. Maybe you might be enlighten. Be sure to thank the wall after that.

I could have bastard you to the max here, but I didn't. Why ? Because it's simply waste of my life. Don't bother to resolve this problem, because it's not appreciated. So yeah, remember, don't bastard my friends like how you bastard me okayyyy. I don't mind being one of your stupid victims, but don't do it anymore. You know I don't like people to bastard my friends. I know that, you know that, we know that.

Thanks for reading, bad blood. It will never change for the better. Because I choose not to. I know I'm too mean. But hey, this is the first time I bastard you back. So it shouldn't be that bad, ya ?

Thank you so much, my friend. Look on the bright side, at least I said thanks.

Bad hair day.

2008-03-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, I did what I promised. That is to cut my hair SHORT, as told by Miss Zaleha. I'm a mannnn of my words. Well, my hair's short now. HAHA, ok shut up.

A issue on trust.

2008-03-15T22:08:00.000-07:00

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.

Most of the people who attend to the class BBQ last night.

2. What were you doing at 0800?

Sleeping & fucking thinking.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Still thinking.

4. What happened to you in 2006?

First attempt of sec 3. Wrong company, bad influence. Retained. But it doesn't matter now.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?

YES. When twk & me finally fixed his shoes after struggling for so long.

6. How many beverages did you have today?

One.

7. What color is your hairbrush?

Do guys need ?

8. What was the last thing you paid for?

Last night's cab fare.

9. Where were you last night?

Slacking somewhere after the class BBQ at Pasir Ris Park.

10.What color is your front door?

A little faded, brown.

11.Where do you keep your change?

Usually pockets. Seldom in wallet.

12.What's the weather like today?

Pretty cool.

13.What's the best ice-cream flavor?

I'm not picky. But chocolate will do.

14.What excites you?

The way she speak to me with eye contact.

15.Do you want to cut your hair?

I've no choice.

16.Are you over the age of 25?

Barely 17.

17.Do you talk a lot?

Mood, atmosphere, people. Will determine.

18.Do you watch the O.C.?

I don't know what's that. But do you watch me ?

19.Do you know anyone named Steven?

Yes.

20.Are you a jealous person?

Depend on the issue, person.

21.Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.

Atiqah. (Jessica Alba.)

22.Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.

Kenneth.

23.Who's the first person on your received call list?

Boris.

24.What does the last text message you received say?

She said, 'i don't know.'

25.Do you chew on your straw ?

When there's nothing to do.

26.Do you have curly hair?

No.

27.Where's the next place you're going to?

Depends. Mostly school on monday.

28.Who's the rudest person in your life?

I can consider myself.

29.What was the last thing you ate?

Rice, rice & more rice.

30.Will you get married in the future?

Yes.

31.What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 week?

Not sure about the date. But it's gonna be L, change the world.

32.When was the last time you did the dishes?

Just now in the noon.

33.Is there anyone you like right now?

Yes.

34.Are you currently depressed?

Yes, very.

35.Did you cry today?

No. I don't cry.

37.Why did you answer and post this?

Saw it on pamm's blog.

38.Tag 5 people who would do this survey.

Jiaen,

Jianhong,

Pamela,

Royston,

Shark.

To someone:

I'm always here for you, if you must know. You can always find me if you want, just a call, a sms, a note, or even a facial expression. But I think it doesn't matter anymore. Like seriously. I'm not needed anymore I guessed. So yeah. Farewell, until the day you come looking for me again. But I think, there's no more again. Because you've already got others.

To another someone:

So much for my help. I think it's not even appreciated. I've been trying ways to prove that it's not you, but looks like the search went wrong. Now you don't even wanna reply. Fine, it's pretty all right though. Because at least I know I tried to figure out. Thanks so much, concern & help not appreciated.

Languid friday.

2008-03-14T14:48:00.000-07:00

Today will be a busy day but, with a wrong atmosphere. Simply because pleasant things are happening at the wrong time while unpleasant things are happening at the right time. Well well. I'm going off for the class bbq soon, hope it will be 'fun'. I don't know why outsiders are involved but I don't care hahahahaha. Because we're bringing more than her. Well, hey, not me.

During the bbq period, I think my crazy friend's coming to meet me to catch up with our lives. To settle some things beforehand & of course take photos if the mood's right. My crazy friend's leaving singapore after O levels. SO yeah, no more crazy friend. Afraid if it's a one way trip. HAHA. She's bringing another friend. It's gonna be awkward. Like shy papa. But well, i'm friendly.

So the things to do for today:
1. Class bbq.
2. Meet up with crazy friend.
3. Photo takings.
4. Slack.
5. Play for the whole night.

All right, i'm busy soon. Waiting for boris' call. & I must agree with someone that maturity do come with a price.

Yearn.

2008-03-06T22:37:00.000-08:00

To have an earnest or strong desire; long.

Ah, i'm so bewildered. I don't know if I should say or not. I feel so.. Well well, only certain people know what i'm talking about. But I don't really wanna tell her man. Since she's like attached or whatever. It will seem like i'm breaking them up or something. God damn it. Maybe I should avoid, or stop, or just be normal. Hiding feelings isn't a good solution, speaking up isn't a fantastic one as well.

This feeling sucks. I'm feeling so fucking down until I don't know why.

Afterall, Y for yearn. It's the end of the whole thing. & I mean everything.

~~I have a sudden tendency to delete a certain number of entries. Should I or should I not ? Because I don't wanna let her know. At least not now.~~

Listless.

2008-03-05T23:15:00.000-08:00

Listless to the max. Let's hope that i'll perform well tomorrow. I mean normal behaviour. Basketball's tomorrow I hope. Awesome. School's tomorrow. That's slack-y. March holiday's around the corner & I bet it will be a blast. Because i'm going to be quite busy I guess. Pit's next friday, I think i'm out all night. Might need to send some girls home though if they need people to accompany them. Well, well.

L for listless. I'm so listless man. One one one, last last last thing tomorrow. Some people will know what i'm referring to. It's almost done man.

That's all folks, i'm beat.

~~Reaching, incoming.~~

Illusionist.

2008-03-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

A conjurer or magician who creates illusions, as by sleight of hand.

School's awesome. Basketball's pathetic. Your matter sadden me even more. Simply because, I don't even know what you're thinking about right now. Hopefully the day will come soon, so i'll know much more. Injury's not all right yet. But it's manageable.

I found out something about myself. I can't adapt to any basketball courts easily. So it will mean that i'll suck when in play. I'm only able to adapt quick enough at certain places. Like 840, courts near my living area. Others, i'll suck big time.

Hopefully i'm able to run better this time round for 2.4. I think i'll need to bring my sports shoes. My school shoes are so damn loose.

Not as lethargic but it's the end of day. I illusionist. It seems to be triple L(s) when it's used for the first word of the sentence. Cool huh.

That's all folks. Thanks for enduring my boring entries.

~~I'm hearing that particular song everyday. Even though I don't listen to that particular song in my phone or comp. This is so eccentric.~~

Anticipate.

2008-03-03T22:11:00.000-08:00

I'm really able to foresee some things that will happen either in the near or far future man. Some things that are not suppose to happen, happened. Some things that are supposed to happen, did not happen.

Daily basketball activity really make me have a higher self-esteem. Because I know that i'm getting fitter & fitter everyday. As long as i'm doing my sports. It applies for studies. Newspapers & books are my companions. But someone's not there. That someone's not mine anyway. What to do.

School's magnificent. But the NE meeting kinda ruin the whole thing. It wasted so much of my time. Unable to let me finish my school lessons, made me late for my maths seeding programme & it's just a waste of time for me. So what if the school's activity is important. I wonder if the activity or O level's more important man, seriously.

End of today, A for anticipate. Incoming situations that I foresee & I think it's inevitable.

~~Just a little more will do. A little more. Believe in myself man. I'm about there already.~~

Lethargic.

2008-03-02T21:52:00.000-08:00

Slept through until late noon. Was so reluctant to wake up simply because of the wonderful condition for sleeping. It's raining, folks. It has been so long ever since it rained, except for yesterday. Halfway through the cross country, it rained. Damn, made it so tough to run for most of us. I think I saw my geo teacher at the third station.

Yes, it's so lethargic man. So much things to do, so little time. Iconnexion, homeworks, study groups, sports activity, inevitable O levels. I'm so glad that March holiday's around the corner so I gonna make full use of it. Be it to have fun, to rest up, to do more sports or even studies. But ultimately, the main aim is to rest man.

Damn, tomorrow's the NE meeting again. What a wastage of time man. Oh man, what to do. It will be during lesson time as well. Irritating.

Sunday red. Monday blue. L's lethargic. I feel like watching L change the world AGAIN.

~~Reminds me of the movie, L change the world. If only i'm that brilliant.~~

Endeavor.

2008-03-01T23:44:00.000-08:00

Failed this time round. Bad weather, bad injury, bad timing. Can't even get into top 100th. Haven even reach half of the distance my left foot bleed already. What is this man. But at least I know i've improved greatly comparing my timing with previous years. Felt so guilty for not able to run better with my recent injury for the class. Oh man, shucks.

Went to eat with Miss Zaleha, Natasha, Hariza, Q, Syahrin, Aryani, Steph. Chat our hearts out & Miss Zaleha treated our meals. Thanks man if you happen to pass by my blog. Went seperate ways after that. Walked to interchange with cher. Well, cross country always bring back memories. But this time, it's a little different.

I can be very down out of a sudden & back again.

Today's achievement. E for endeavor.

That's all for today, folks.

Motivation.

2008-02-29T21:51:00.000-08:00

School's fine. My grades are dropping slightly. But my human geo's really a killer. I don't know if it's the content, the teacher, the teaching method or it's just me. But my instinct tells me that it's time to buck up already. I don't wanna disappoint those people who have high hopes for me. It's time to balance out sports activity, guitar, studies & playing games. I think i've managed to stop playing games. It will really save me alot of time for other issues.

Been hanging out with boris recently. Mainly, it's because of the sports. Well, we played basketball almost everyday. For me it's like a handful of days but for them it's like a week plus. I really need to work my body man. Cross country's tomorrow. Nafa's less than a month. Only working out for a few days, my whole body's aching like hell. Injured both of my legs, tripped, elbow-ed at the chest. I really wonder how i'm going to run for tomorrow man. I just wanna run for her at least once. I doubt I can make it. I really need tons of motivation. Unless it's from her.

Well, M for motivation. I really need you man.

~~I'll be waiting. I'll be there.~~

Anxiety.

2008-02-28T21:34:00.000-08:00

I kept you in my mind for some reasons. Well, it serve as a motivation pillar for me. I did it, I managed to do what my mind asked to do. A series of unlucky stuffs happened today. Not really some major stuffs but I think it's reason is your absence. Well, who knows.

I was so stunned for a moment when I saw your sms. I didn't even give a thought that you would sms me from where you are. Well, i'm pretty glad at the same time. Seeing your sms do comfort me pretty much. But that's only for today. I think i'm gonna be the same tomorrow again. Oh well, what to do.

A for anxiety for today. Performance anxiety I must say.

~~I think I did the right choice.~~

Paranoid.

2008-02-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

I wondered if you did it, brought it, read it. But still, I just don't know how to put my thoughts into words. But still, I hoped that you really brought it along with you. Well, i'll never know. The absence of you really changed the atmosphere. Life's never so boring. Well, it's not only me. I'll never know what you're thinking currently that's for sure.

I told you for a million times. You don't get it. It's either you're pretending or you're avoiding or maybe you just don't get it. Well, who knows. Gonna get used to it.

The day just ended off so quietly. Maybe it's not that long afterall. I'm deadbeat mentally, not physically. Straining or overdoing it might be able to numb it off alittle.

Well, P for paranoid is the word for today.

~~I feel the urge to sms her. Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't.~~

Rise of the bygone.

2008-02-21T21:55:00.000-08:00

"It's getting difficult to be around you.
There's so much I can't say.
Do you want me to hide the feelings and look away?"

There's really so much that I want you to know. But I can't afford to let you know. Don't ask me why. But I just can't do it. It's not about the guts, it's about the scene i'll spoil if I were to speak my feelings. Relationships. As typical guys always say this. 'As long as the girl's happy, i'm happy.' But, did they really practice what they preach? So far, there's only one close friend of mine having the same mindset as me.

"I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreaming's just a waste of time."

~~Yes, it's just so not reality to me. Even though I do dreamt of you before. But that's just not the fact that we're together.~~

"Through it all, you're always my best friend."

I think that's the limit of what both of us can get to. Yeah, I should have remained that way afterall. Being your best support in everything you do. But, heart & mind doesn't correspond with each other. I knew it all along.

"Confessions."

I don't want her to avoid & stuffs. I want it to be in a natural way. I seen many cases of what confessions can do. I've a friend who's undergoing that. I'm one living example once. I think i'm just not enough for her.

"Emotions."

You made me overjoyed in a minute. However, you made me downcast in seconds. I like the way you talk to me. I like the way how you approach me. I like the way on how you tell me your worriment. There are so much things that I want to write it down here. Absence makes the heart fonder. Things are better to be left unspoken.

So much things are said here. I think there's only one person who knows what i'm talking about. That person is a very unexpected person. Coincidentally, I've so many friends that are going through the same process as me. Don't bother to ask me who are those people that i've mentioned. I'll only say when you ask, provided it's the right time.

Valentine's day.

2008-02-13T21:30:00.000-08:00

This video is a little too late for you guys to view. But oh well, it's interesting. Tomorrow's valentine's day. It's gonna be a bomber ride tomorrow. We will see boys & girls exchanging gifts & stuffs. Or to the extreme, the couple stuffs. Yeah, be it alone or with your special one, just be happy eh people. :)

' PLEASE DATE MEEEEEEEE. :) ' (As shown in the video)
' Do you have a map? Cause i'm lost in your eyes. :) ' (As shown in the video)

Oh great.

~~The valentine's day made me recall about a girl called Valentina. I wonder how's she doing right now. Really wonder how my first crush's looks now. Hope you're doing all right there man.~~

STALKER!

2008-02-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

School's all right everyday. But I met a stalker this afternoon with Sebas. He's so creepy man, I still can recall his actions & guilty look. :) I'll let the picture do the talking.

Click to enlarge. My HARD work man.

You should see the live one man, it's so much hilarious. His actions are quite similar to
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If you're in doubt, ask me in class or msn HAHA.

Last day of school & surprise.

2008-02-06T00:10:00.000-08:00

School's all right. Almost all of my classmates are already in the new year mood. Unlike me. I'm so not looking forward for it. It's not about the taking of red packet you see, it's the atmosphere. Did I mentioned that the concert this year sucked?

I really dread relatives going non-stop regarding on your appearance, academic & physical build. I'm so so so so sick of it. They can repeat the whole damn thing for years. 'Oh, you've grown taller!' 'How are you coping with your studies? O'levels this year?' 'Oh, getting more & more charming already as you get older. (obviously not).' I bet all of them are just words of courtesy.

Regarding another thing. I really really really dreaddddddddddd to see that old bastard. But i've no choice. I think we're going down his house for home visiting. Damn it. He better don't come & give me that kind of crap for that matter. I think I should continue the record of not visiting that old bastard. It has been a trend for not visiting your old ones eh. It's inevitableeeeee.

I carried out the surprise not long ago. Damn, she knew it. I shouldn't have called her the day before to ask about it man. :( Anyway, hope that she got SURPRISED. Hope that she liked it too. The gift as well.

Seriously, the main main main main reason of me sleeping during the bus ride home is that to avoid looking at the couples. But now it had become a habit for me. I can't care less but I did a grave mistake today. I didn't slept. & Very coincidentally, a couple was sitting infront of me. Doing those couple stuffs & stuffs you know. Really, this kind of things really get into me.

I'm currently so called fallen in love with someone. But she's attached, I couldn't do much you know. I don't know how deep her love is for him. I don't know their condition of relationship now. But there's one thing I know. If they were to break, I would make the move. I won't sit around & wait anymore like the past. (N) was right about me. I should have made the move.

& There's one fact that my friends & I found. The world is really changing. It's the nerd's world now. Nerds have stead. Buangsters have stead. Pretty or charming ones are kinda attracted to their own gender. What about the average girls? They are taken by the nerd boys. What about the average boys? They are currently waiting. And I think i'm one of them.

& Now the old feelings are back once more. Yes, pamela. I'm done with blogging ok. :)

I don't know what to type in here.

2008-01-28T18:51:00.000-08:00

背影 - 林宥嘉

三公分陽光三公分空氣
堵在眼前像一面玻璃
擋住了妳表情剩下只有腳印

一直向前走走不完距離
一直向後退不出回憶
很高興有心事幫我困住自己

妳頭髮上淡淡青草香氣
變成了風才能和我相遇
妳的目光蒸發成雲
再下成雨我才能夠靠近

感謝我不可以住進妳的眼睛
所以才能擁抱妳的背影
有再多的遺憾用來牢牢記住
不完美的所有美麗

感謝我不可以擁抱妳的背影
所以才能變成妳的背影
躲在安靜角落不用妳回頭看
不用珍惜

我懷裡所有溫暖的空氣
變成風也不敢和妳相遇
我的心事蒸發成雲
再下成雨卻捨不得淋溼妳

感謝我不可以住進妳的眼睛
所以才能擁抱妳的背影
有再多的遺憾用來牢牢記住
不完美的所有美麗

感謝我不可以擁抱妳的背影
所以才能變成妳的背影
躲在安靜角落不用妳回頭看
不用珍惜

感謝我不可以擁抱妳的背影
所以才能變成妳的背影
躲在安靜角落如果妳回頭看
不用在意

If only you get my meaning, girl.
But.. I think, i'll just drop the idea.

O level results.

2008-01-23T23:15:00.000-08:00

I hereby wish all my friends who are taking o level results later on will pass with flying colours & more colours.

Especially the usual cliques, 'dear', strangers & many more.

When's my turn man.

Recent nonsense.

2008-01-22T23:36:00.000-08:00

Hello, JONATHAN LOH.

You've successfully pissed me off dude. :) I don't really know your gender now. Reason being ? How timid a guy turns when he did something wrong & doesn't admit and tries to avoid it. He just shown me that part of show.

How timid is he ? I'll tell you.

1st, block or delete me in msn.

2nd, changed blog url thus I couldn't track him down.

3rd, delete the comments or rather advices I wrote for him when he avoids me.

4th, I wrote for him again, he delete again.

5th, delete me in friendster.

6th, told him to call me to talk it out. He didn't.

7th, no guts to confront me when he's at fault.

8th, I found out his blog through a friend & tagged him. Everytime I tag him, he changes the tagboard or whatever.

9th, now he comes my blog & wrote tag rubbish AND he's still at fault. Haven apologise to me YET & trying to do this kind of things ?

RETARDED.

Jonathan loh, if you're reading this. Let me tell you. What I wanted all along is just to have a talk with you & ask for explaination. What's more ? Avoiding me as though i'm chasing you with a chopper or whatsoever. You're still at fault you know, my friend.

Wanna know how I know all the tags are done by you ? Let me tell you if you're that dumb. There's statcounter in my blog. & I'm capable of tracking down your ip address as well. Try me ? You better start calling my phone now & explain.

Excellent ! He's such a brave soul now. I'm so proud of you Jonathan loh.

Love at first sight ?

2008-01-21T21:23:00.000-08:00

Oh damn, I regretted sleeping on the bus during late noon today. Oh man, I didn't know my area lives a girl who looks quite pretty & decent eh. Woah, when I opened my eyes, she's sitting infront of me. & of course la, first thing you wake up will surely look infront one ah. At least for me.

First thing I noticed about a girl. Hair style & condition ah. Which follows by eyes, etc. etc.

Damn, she met the requirement sia. Just that I don't know whether she speaks chinese or english, that's all. But well, at least I know which direction she's heading home.

& she's not very tall. :) Ok now. Can someone tell me which school is she from ? White top, light blue skirt. She carries a red bagpack man. Wow.

I don't know why i'm writing like this. Anyway, I love today.

Guitar duel.

2008-01-16T22:48:00.000-08:00

Trivium Vs Bullet For My Valentine

Song order:

Pull harder on the strings of your matyr,
Hands of blood,
A gunshot to the head of trepidation,
Suffocating under words of sorrow,
Dying in your arms,
4 words to choke upon,
Anthem (We are the fire),
Her voice resides,
Drownde and torn asunder,
Tears don't fall,
Ascendancy,
The poison.

Emotions.

2008-01-15T20:37:00.000-08:00

I felt useless at times. But, I couldn't blame myself. I'm still young & learning & growing. But I really dread picking up phone calls at home. Because most of the time, it will be a bad news. I don't really wanna share with anyone. Simply because I think my emotions have got over me.

In a month & abit more days. I might be just famous. For reasons like, I almost killed him or I messed him up. Who knows. Hopefully this will be over soon. But I don't think so. I'll fucking kill that mother fucker if he were to speak ill of my family.

I don't know why. Time is running out. I have to make a choice soon. I'm already so stressed out & a call just added on to my burden. I couldn't concentrate in class as much as last time. I'm sleeping, slacking. Because i'm waiting for that particular day. He thinks that we kids don't know what they did. They're wrong.

All this things. Only a friend of mine knows it.

& You know what's the most terrible thing you can find in a guy ? It's a guy who lost his self-controls. Yes, I couldn't find it back still.

~~I really need someone to hold me in anytime.~~

Standards.

2008-01-14T23:39:00.000-08:00

I wasn't able to get excess to internet due to some tech error. & I actually waited for like 3 days to get it done. Basically I thought it was because of the bills stuff. But it was like settled, but still no internet connection. I got so pissed that I called up every number that I can see and asked about it. The tech hotline was so hot that we have to actually wait to get on the line with them. DAMN.

Following their steps & around near to 30 minutes then the internet started working. Another DAMN. Wasted so much of my time & effort talking to the person. But thanks to them, & lucky they are polite.

Anyway, standards. I'm not bragging about me in getting good grades, but still, once you're there maintaining. It's not about bragging or whatsoever already. It's about being a role model & living up to your standard.

I couldn't cope as much as last year already. Maybe i've slacken down or getting lazy. But who knows. Maybe the changing of favourite teachers really DO affect me. Living up to my standard ? It's a little impossible here babe.

Simply put, i'm just sick of a particular teacher's pride. DAMN.

Someone or anyone get me started with the commotion man. I want my elegant teacher back, seriously. Not just me, it's everyone.

I couldn't self-motivate anymore. Or rather I refused to do so. I'm stubborn, yes. You got me.

Perfectionist.

2008-01-11T00:53:00.000-08:00

Being a perfectionist myself, I tend to have high demands to myself. But I think I screwed up this year, for some reasons. I couldn't do a simple task like sleeping early.

Adding on, the flunging of my first chemistry test. Yes, even if I did passed, but what's with the marks man. To think that i'm the only one who passed the chemistry test with a pathetic score of 21/40. Followed by the second chemistry test which I think it would be worst. I didn't studied much but I somehow know what's going on. I'm so gonna flung that paper as well. I didn't finish doing that paper somemore. Damn, so much for a perfectionist.

Damn, lunch after school was a venting anger period. Sebas & me ate 2 plates of food and some other stuffs. But still, we can still eat. But the variety of food is always so limited.

Damn, I don't know what's stopping me from writing down the answers man. I'm hesitating to write it down in fear that it might be wrong. The checking of first chemistry test adds on to my attention. I did so many F mistakes man, I don't know why. But i'm able to do them at that particular time.

I feel that, somehow, I can't take it anymore. I can't take in things as easily as last year already. Just that i'm putting a strong front. Do you know that the more pressured or stressed you are, you'll tend to forget things more easily? I think i'm suffering from that right now.

I've been appointed as a peer leader & i'm supposed to coach my classmates during our free time. I think i'm the only one that's taking 3 people in my group man. Tan Wee kiat, Danial, Alex Lim. 3 of them.

Peer leader? I doubt i'll be able to do it. Just hope that I doesn't break down before them.

Joanne made a good point here which struck me pretty hard.

( I need to grow taller, or else how would I be able to find a girl soon ? )

I just realised that I need to start working on it already.... Damn it.

Needs.

2008-01-09T22:08:00.000-08:00

NAFA test is around 3 months time.

I need a jogging partner,
I need a basketball partner,
I need a time keeper,
I need a morning caller,
I need a sleep-early caller!

I wanna be in my best form, be it physical or mental.

An interesting video.

2008-01-06T20:56:00.000-08:00

Story Quickbite:

This story is based on a true life story about a boy struggling with his forbidden love. Rated R21 by MDA.

A short film directed by Justin Kan and produced by Dex Tan. Starring Lawrence Wong, Edric Hsu, Candice De Rosario, Sun Yi, Roy Nerng, Liting, Aishah and Renee Chua. Music by Kevin Fok and Kenny Ong.

Disclaimer and credits:
We would like to make it clear that while the filming was done in AJC, the story is NOT based on anyone in AJC. AJC was the only school which has kindly lent us its premises to shoot this film. So we do hope that viewers would not misunderstand. We also would like to take this opportunity to extend our thanks to AJC for allowing us to shoot the film on their premises. We would also like to thank VS for lending us their video equippments.

Like the songs ? Get from me. Enjoy.

Reopening of school.

2008-01-01T22:36:00.000-08:00

Means it's back to stress period. The moment we stepped in school tomorrow, the moment our teachers speaks. The time is ticking & ticking. No time to waste, time to equip yourself with books & notes. To prepare for the grand war. The o levels.

Time is ticking away, but check out what i'm still doing haha !

Seriously, I can't seem to find my moods & feelings back for lessons.